WOW its a thread and it has jokes!!

[lostprophet]

I was walking through the park last night and one guy threw sodium chloride on me and another covered me in sulphuric acid.
It was terrible. I didn't know how to react.

 

[clarinetJWD]

I was walking through the park last night and one guy threw sodium chloride on me and another covered me in sulphuric acid.
It was terrible. I didn't know how to react.

:lmao::lmao::lmao:
Wow...chemistry jokes...

On a related note, I once had the wonderful experience of being slowly turned into soap by some strong alkaline...(Can't remember which it was)

I solved that one with a nice large helping of lemons.

 

[Enough Already]

A blonde gets a job as a teacher.
She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other
kids are running around having fun.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
'You ok?' she says.
'Yes.' he says.
'You can go and play with the other kids you know.' she says.
'It's best I stay here.'he says. '
'Why?' says the blonde.
The boy says: 'Because, I'm the f^?*ing goalie'

 

[Don Kondra]

A man owned a small Ranch in Texas. The Texas Work Force Department
claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out
to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded
the agent.

"Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for
3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.

The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus
free room and board.

Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does
about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays
his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday
night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to ... the half-wit," says the agent.

"That would be me," replied the Rancher

 

[ferny]

I was on the plane coming home when the stewardess came over to me and said, "Would you care for an orange juice?"
"Sure," I replied. "If it really needed me."

 

[Antarctican]

A group of five-year old students were learning to read. One of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said,"Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!"

The teacher took a deep breath, then asked..."What did you call it?

"It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!"

And so it does...


" A f r i c a n Elephant "

[Aren't phonics, and learning to sound out the words, just wonderful? :lmao: ]