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I think you did a remarkable job getting so much detail in both the sky and the lower half.
1. The exposures are off as you noticed, the second one is entirely too dark.
2. The subjects are not very clear because:
A. The crop is too wide
and
B. There is no seperationg between the subject and background. (Focus on the subject.)
3. The angles are very boring.
If it was me, and I was trying to get a nice dramatic shooting shot, I would've gotten lower to the ground, and used a fill flash to expose his face aiming down the guns sights.
Good Job, nice pics. Might want to loose the black socks with the sandles