a joke or two

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by ferny, Jan 27, 2005.

  1. ferny

    ferny TPF Noob!

    Aug 31, 2004
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    A mother had 3 daughters and all of them were virgins.

    All 3 got married around the same time. Their mom was worried about their sexual inexperience, so she wanted to know how things were going during the honeymoon. Therefore, she made them promise that they would send a postcard contaning an inuendo about their "experiences".

    A couple of days later, the first daughter sends a postcard from Taiti. One word in it: "Nescafe". Mother runs to the kitchen, gets a box of Nescafe out of a drawer and reads: "Good to the last drop". Mother felt a bit embarassed, but was happy for her daughter.

    A week later, the second daughter sends a postcard from Cote d' Azur. The message was: "Rothmans". Mother now knew what she had to do. She bought a packet of Rothmans cigarettes and read the inscription: "Extra Long. King Size".

    3 weeks went by, and still no word from the third daughter. Mother was getting a bit worried, but a postcard finally arrived from Seychelles. She read: "South African Airways".

    Mother goes out, buys a magazine and searches for the SAA ad. She finds it: "10 times a day, 7 days a week, both ways".

    I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

    My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.

    My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.

    It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
    One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.

    She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.

    She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

    I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside.

    With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

    The moral of this story is:

    "Always keep your condoms in your car."

  2. Corry

    Corry Flirtacious and Bodacious Supporting Member

    Feb 5, 2004
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    North Central Illinois
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    Hahaa....I'd heard both of those before...that second one is definately funny!
  3. triggerhappy

    triggerhappy TPF Noob!

    Nov 6, 2004
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    London, UK

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh:

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