Afraid to take another picture

The_Traveler

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I had lunch yesterday with a good friend. He is a good photographer, not great, but good and improving all the time. We talk about lots of things, but usually end up talking about pictures. Well, after lunch we were sitting having coffee and he asked me if I remember a certain picture of his. I said that I did, that I thought it was as good as he had ever taken and it would stand up well anywhere.

He replied that he thought it was the best picture he had ever taken, and he always has these lingering fears that he will never get to that height again.
He is, like me, someone who doesn't care much about the skills issue.

I have another friend who is very, very good at making pictures of flowers and landscapes, etc. His pictures are in the top 5% of flower pictures that I have even seen but, after a short while, his pictures have a boring sameness to them. He has added new looks to his repertoire but these looks getting boring and slide into the same old stuff. He seems not to mind and will gladly return to the same field of lowers year after year to shoot what looks to me like the same thing. He is amazingly skillful but not creative.

These two people represent to me the different poles in photography, the one who prizes the technical accuracy and skill of making something; he knows if he can find something vaguely photographable, he will get a well taken image. The other who, every time, he or she goes out, faces that long slog up Mount Creativity, never certain the he or she will get anywhere.

I can look at pictures I've taken and it is very easy to discount my part in them by saying the situation was there and all I had to do was press the button. THe actual skills I bring to it are minuscule compared to others who know every jot and tittle of photo science.
But pictures are sort of like children in that a good picture seems to be more than the product of a process, a good picture embodies something more and has a life of its own. I look at pictures I've taken that I think are good, and in reflection, feel good about my ability to get that picture collected.

But, inevitably, when I go through a down period, where I can't get out to shoot or do shoot but collect nothing worhtwhile, that same fear of never producing anything good pops up again.
 
It is a roller coaster.
 
You've just explained perfectly how most of us feel, everyday. I've felt that way often. I've got the same friends. All we can do is work on our own process of photography. There is always that moment when you look at your work from last week that you felt was some of your best and realize it was only "your" best and not the top 5% of everyone's best. At that moment you have to decide, stay home or go big. Had that moment last summer. My husband saw my defeat and suggested I take a class. Not that motivated, money, time, etc. Then I was invited by a friend to go to lunch. Her husband came and showed me some of his work, they know I have some skills. His shots were amazing. We talked. I was invited for dinner. There was a friend of theirs they meet every Thursday night for drinks. She is a photography instructor. Huh? She convinced me to take the Basic Class. I already use manual settings. Take it or don't come at all, she said, with a grin. I have taken the class, learned more than I thought, mostly about discipline. I'm signed up for the Intermediate. I've decided to go forward and see how far I can go. I'm having more fun with my photography and I'm not looking back.
 
But, inevitably, when I go through a down period, where I can't get out to shoot or do shoot but collect nothing worhtwhile, that same fear of never producing anything good pops up again.

Sure. It is because you have produced work you are proud of that has opened up that nasty little window of doubt. Although hard to work through, and painful at times, I'd rather have that than be gleefully mindless of continuing to produce meaningless work. I will forever be baffled by images that are technically "perfect" and produce absolutely no feeling at all from me, no response, but are yet called "good images".

Tolstoy called it artistic sincerity. I'm of a mind to agree.
 
I have been taking pictures for a long time. Some people have said I have some good shots, but in my mind they don't stand up to the quality I see around me. My photography may never reach the goals I have. Maybe due to my lack of skill, perseverance, equipment, or luck. The only thing I know is that when photography isn't part of my life, there's something missing. I've come to realize that these photos might not be in the top 5%, but they're mine. These are my creations and while I'm usually somewhat disappointed that they weren't the masterpieces I envisioned, I still enjoy the shooting and processing. Photography is only partly about the end result. It's also about selecting the lens, the aperture, the exposure... Just being out there shooting. Like everything in life, it's about the journey. If I only walk on sunny days, I will never reach the top. Just keep shooting. Just keep shooting. :) What do we do? We shoot!
 
Thanks for the thoughtful responses.

It is always interesting to me how many really really want to create something. And eventually they can confess to that.
I am very lucky in that I don't need to sell anything, to earn a living but only have to do what makes me happy.
I actually shouldn't say 'happy' because I get plenty of angst from the almost-there but not quite.
 
I want to learn skills in everything I do, as much as possible or as much as my capabilities allow me.

In writing, and photography as well and in everything else, one should now basic principles in order to pass the message without unnecessary mess.

Communicating in a second language f.e. one has to learn some basic grammar in order to communicate better with people. But someone who doesn't know basic grammar and know just few words will manage to communicate with others. It wont be that easy and people wont understand immediately, but the message will be understood eventually. Learning proper rules might help in better communications, but even when someone learn every possible rule that exist, that wont guarantee them better understanding of the message he/she want to send.

My English is ok, let's say, it has some problems and grammar issues but somehow I manage to pass my message. I speak English since I was 10 and I learn it by myself, not in school or courses. I speak German (not fluently, have to say)... but apparently it's not that difficult for me to learn a language and use it.
But it's important to notice that I do want to know what I need to know in order to communicate easier and better. Do I put grammar before the impact of my writing? No, the impact is much more important then some rules. It's same in photography.

There is just something in people that separates them from being just skillful and being successful in what they want to say. And indeed, it is the right question to ask yourself, who are you, someone who wants to be skilled or someone who cares about impact/message they want to pass along? I think, the answer on this question will help you clarifying your work and everything else. Understanding who you are in this terms will help you tremendously. (not you Lew :) but others who haven' figure it out for themselves yet)

Do I have the fear of not producing anything that's worthy ever again? Oh yes, constantly...
Especially these days...
 
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This type of self over-analysis is a creativity killer in my opinion and takes the fun out of it all. Study, practice, and have fun. Focus your thoughts on learning and what you can do to improve or get good shots, not about fear. The learning never stops, even when you get to a high level. In fact, at that point, it becomes more important because your learning curve has flattened out. If you are getting stressed or depressed about not getting quality work, then you need to step back and refocus with those basic prinicples in mind and just get after it. Shoot.
 
Thanks for the thoughtful responses.

It is always interesting to me how many really really want to create something. And eventually they can confess to that.
I am very lucky in that I don't need to sell anything, to earn a living but only have to do what makes me happy.
I actually shouldn't say 'happy' because I get plenty of angst from the almost-there but not quite.

Well, Lew, judging from your business card, you don't have anything to worry about. In my almost 50 years as a devout photographer, both as a 'professional' and an amateur, I discovered that the fun is in the chase, rather than the capture. When I sold an image, the negative went with it, as I considered it a fait accomplis and took no further interest in the image. My 'hobby' work on the other hand is a different story, in that I enjoy the hunt as much as the final image. If I achieve an image that I am pleased with (rather than the client), I consider the process a success.

I feel that many photographers beat themselves up because they are not making images on the level of Pete Turner or Jeanloupe Sieff. Well neither am I, but I have learned to deal with it. :wink:
 
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I go through the same ups and downs. I haven't met a photographer yet that thinks their own images are great. We are the first ones to point out the flaws in our own work. lol, I don't think that will ever change…..for me anyway. Usually when I hit a low, I start looking for a new genre to get out of my comfort zone.


And if that doesn't work, I resort to retail motivation. lol
 
There are tons of people out there who just want to take decent pictures. More power to 'em.

Among these are the people who want to make copies of Ansel Adams photos, the people who photograph the Eiffel Tower and the moon, the people who take lovingly focus stacked macro photographs of bugs. There is real pleasure both in creating a thing, however simple and derivative, and in mastering technical details.

I would be, for instance, happy if I could ever reliably play piano music above the level I've been playing for the last 15 years. I am stuck being able to play simple pieces as notated, with a little practice. If I could play all but the most trivial Bach, as notated, I would be happy. My interpretations would be boring, I have very little interest in creating interesting and powerful interpretations of a piece, I'd just like to be able to play the thing as written, more or less. This is a bit like shooting the Eiffel Tower. There's exactly nothing new or interesting in my "interpretations" of Bastien's Level 3 Christmas Carols, and there would be nothing new or interesting in my readings of Bach's fugue in C from WTC. It all pleases me and makes me happy, though.

Not so, photography. I am decidedly unhappy making rote copies of things, making pictures that look like other people's pictures, making pictures that appear sterile or meaningless. This means I'm unhappy about my pictures, quite a lot. So it goes.

You keep on going on, I find, and sometimes you get to make a few things that make you happyish. Sometimes.
 

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