critiquing in real life

[limr]

Be vague with your 'praise' and specific with your critique, and limit yourself to only one point (composition) and just two or three pictures. You can still be direct and truthful without telling every single truth. You don't have to point out every thing that's wrong, because who wants to hear that? He'll shut down. But, as others have said, if you start and end with a positive and sandwich the critique in the middle, then he's more likely to listen.

Opening positive: "I think you've got great colors." or "You've got good exposures" (chances are he's using Auto, no? So exposures will probably be mostly okay )

When you get to the critique: "In the picture about X, was the subject X or Y? Maybe it would be clearer if you..." Ask questions, get him to talk about the photo and suggest changes with some non-challenging openers: "You know what I think would look great? If you tried putting the subject somewhere other than the middle. Have you ever tried that?"

And then to finish up, "I think it's a good start. Keep practicing!"

If he's a douche cap, he'll contradict everything you say and get insulted at the idea that he needs to practice. And then you can get offended right back and call him a douche cap and tell him to lose your number and then you'll be free of him. If he listens, though, then maybe he'll improve and as time goes on, you won't be in the position of telling him he sucks anymore.

Someone mentioned to be careful not to put yourself in a mentoring position. I agree - it can be very draining. But if it happens, the silver lining will be that once you're a mentor, you can probably get away with being more direct and 'brutal' without worrying about it

 

[mmaria]

I had a friend in school who was a real gent when giving critique. It always came over as suggestions, advice and encouragement. He was never condescending and had the patience to go through things point for point (even if the points were, in hindsight, pretty elementary). He always told me the truth about my efforts, and took the time to explain what I could try to do differently where needed. He went on to study under Hedgecoe in London, has enjoyed a bright career both sides of the Atlantic, and heads a department at uni himself nowadays; yet he is as humble and unassuming as when we were just kids. I have never known him to mock or scorn or to look down on anyone. He doesn't think himself better than anybody else (though clearly he is better than many) and always delights to see anyone picking up a camera, taking up photography and giving it a go.

Honestly, I think I'm not capable for acting like that in this particular situation. I admire people like your friend is.
I'm humble if I want critique from someone and when someone asking for a critique is humble. Subtitles really depend from the person's attitude if they ask for my opinion. If I see just a glance of niceness I'll be nice much more.

I think also that I'm pain in the ass when teaching something, if you get what I mean. I'm not going anywhere unless we cover basics for hundreds of time and when I see that someone got it we go further. So me mentoring him maybe is not good idea for him

 

[mmaria]

It's a waste of time.
He won't hear it and you won't get the satisfaction of seeing him crumble.
Just show him your shots and let him make excuses.

By the way, your math is terrible, 30 - 22 = 8 not 10.

I was trying to accentuate that it is not possible that he liked me so I added 2 years of difference between us. Is this correct now 30 - 10 + 2 = 22

 

[mmaria]

Be vague with your 'praise' and specific with your critique, and limit yourself to only one point (composition) and just two or three pictures. You can still be direct and truthful without telling every single truth. You don't have to point out every thing that's wrong, because who wants to hear that? He'll shut down. But, as others have said, if you start and end with a positive and sandwich the critique in the middle, then he's more likely to listen.

Opening positive: "I think you've got great colors." or "You've got good exposures" (chances are he's using Auto, no? So exposures will probably be mostly okay )

When you get to the critique: "In the picture about X, was the subject X or Y? Maybe it would be clearer if you..." Ask questions, get him to talk about the photo and suggest changes with some non-challenging openers: "You know what I think would look great? If you tried putting the subject somewhere other than the middle. Have you ever tried that?"

And then to finish up, "I think it's a good start. Keep practicing!"

If he's a douche cap, he'll contradict everything you say and get insulted at the idea that he needs to practice. And then you can get offended right back and call him a douche cap and tell him to lose your number and then you'll be free of him. If he listens, though, then maybe he'll improve and as time goes on, you won't be in the position of telling him he sucks anymore.

Someone mentioned to be careful not to put yourself in a mentoring position. I agree - it can be very draining. But if it happens, the silver lining will be that once you're a mentor, you can probably get away with being more direct and 'brutal' without worrying about it

I'll start with robbins.photo's approach and if he insist I'll limit myself to just one issue.
Maybe ....composition...watch for your background... what did you want to tell with this photo ...do you know about the role of light in photography....I can't help you with the flash but you need to practice more if you want to use it properly...are you aware that you need to learn about posing if you shoot for a catalog...shallow dof is really nice but I just can't see why did you chose this subject.....



This thread really helped me. Thank you guys!

After reading all this and a good laugh with things you guys said I have no more emotional brakes when thinking of him. Now I just find his attitude amusing. I'll be referring to this thread before talking to him