How do I NOT get my feelings hurt?

[Steve5D]

There's an old adage in sales: If you want the sale, you have to go get the sale.

Someone knowing that you're a photographer isn't going to equate to them asking you to shoot for them. If you're not going to ask for the shoot, you shouldn't be surprised that you're not shooting.

Ask. You might be pleasantly surprised at the answers you get...

 

[Tarayn]

Umm I don't know about doing friends of family cheap, but if it's your own Family I don't see the harm.Maybe it's just me I wouldn't charge my cousins or grandparents etc. The choice is up to you.

 

[Steve5D]

The only time I charge a family member is if they absolutely insist. It's happened exactly once...

 

[TCampbell]

I would never consider charging my own family for my time. The most I would do is "pass through" expenses (e.g. if they ask me to get stuff printed, I'd let them know what the printing service charges for the prints they've requested.), but I won't profit off my own family. BTW, I sort of expect my own family to reciprocate in-kind... in that should I ever need their help... you get the idea.

As for who takes the photos ... sounds like you're new and hoping to grow a business. It'd probably be more appropriate for you to ask a family member if if they'd help you by modeling for a shoot to help you practice and build a portfolio... this would be THEM doing YOU a favor... not the other way around. I reinforce this because as I read between the lines here, it looks as if you're hoping to gain some photographic and business experience by using your family members to help you, while you actually charge them (even if it is a discount... it's still payment) for helping you out?

When they want professional photos, who they go to is their choice. If you've done enough shots, they've seen your work, and they really like what you do -- great. But if they'd rather go to a portrait studio, you're not entitled to get hurt feelings over that.

If your relatives want to get photos done, and they don't like the photos, then they need the freedom and business relationship to be able to tell that photographer that they don't like the photos and would like a re-shoot. Do you want that photographer to be YOU? It's usually more comfortable for everyone if they don't involve family by mixing it with business.

 

[ChristianGrattan]

As for who takes the photos ... sounds like you're new and hoping to grow a business.

I kinda got this sense from this post and I wanted to follow up on that. Where are you in your career and what are you looking to do?

Lord knows I have gotten my feeling hurt a bunch of times in situations like these. I have also felt like I dodged a bullet at other times when I didn't get the job.

My interest is in what the goals are for the photography business and what marketing is being done toward that end.

My feelings are a lot less hurtable when I have a fat bank account and sticky hundreds in my wallet.
It's funny how this helps.

 

[imagemaker46]

All my friends know that I'm a photographer, have been a very long time, they all know I'm good at it, but none have ever asked me to shoot anything. My family has never asked me to shoot anything, when we all get together I do take some pictures and e-mail them to them. With friends I do wonder at times why they have never asked, but I don't let it bother me, they can do what they want. I think the bottom line is that they don't want to ask in the event that I will charge them more than they are willing to pay and would feel obligated at that point. Sometimes it's just easier not to ask.

You can't please everyone and never expect everyone to please you, it just won't happen. That's life.

 

[hallsworthb]

You could always turn it on its head - Say that you know they are getting it done "professionally", but you would really like to take some pictures for yourself. Then show them and let nature take its course! Good luck

Bob

 

[DiskoJoe]

I find it a little hard to not get my feelings hurt. One of my friends just had a baby and is going to friggin' Wal-Mart to get pictures taken, my only cousin on my Mom's side hasn't asked me to take her senior pictures (yet and probably won't), my step-sister pays a lot of money to get my nieces pictures taken at these "professional" photographers (who really don't do good jobs IMO...use 2D backdrops and cheesy props). They know that I'd love to take those pictures for little to no charge and they don't even ask. How do I not get my feelings hurt in that situation? I don't want to offer to do it and then they ONLY say yes because they don't want to hurt my feelings...but they probably don't want to ask because they don't want to put me out or feel like they're asking for free sessions...Arrrggg, I guess I'm just screwed either way. Anyone else have a similar problem and how do you deal with it?

If you dont want to sell yourself then you do not want the business.

 

[Solarflare]

To be honest, OP, I think you're a bit oversensitive. If you care about such details too much, you will get constantly get hurt, even if nobody actually intends to hurt you.

I would simply tell those people "I could do this job at least as good or better, and I have better equipment for doing it, too. On top of that, it would be free".

 

[davisphotos]

I would consider it a blessing in disguise, working for friends and family can be a mess. Any work I do for family has been as a gift at my request. I did my brother in law's senior photos, my sister in law's wedding, a friends wedding and a few other shoots completely free. I've had a few high school and college classmates contact me to photograph their weddings, but I haven't been hurt when somebody I know gets married and doesn't hire me. Rejection is a part of being a pro photographer-even if your work is very good and your prices are reasonable, not everybody is going to want you to be their photographer.

And also-how do you know they know you'd love to take their photographs? Maybe they don't want to be imposing, and they don't really know. You won't make it too far as a photographer if you're going to be passive and just hope people will come to you.

 

[Forkie]

Sounds to me like they simply don't realise you'd be willing to do the photos for them. Go and tell them! Just say that next time they want some photos done to come and ask you and you'll do it for them.

 

[MReid]

Better to stay away from working with friends and family, people in your family who aren't asking you to take their pictures know this. People getting hurt feelings is exactly why it is a bad idea to work with friends and family....to much potential down side.

 

[michael9000000]

You're still new at this. Keep practicing, get better and then they will ask. There is a mentor program on here. Get yourself one. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate the quality of your work?

There's a mentor program on here? Where is it?

 

[unpopular]

Since this is family, I'd just talk to them honestly and upfront. Tell them you could use the extra money, and you'd like to take portraits and can offer them a better rate. Do work on spec, only charging if they purchase the images. Market your lenient copyright policy to them - something which the 'old men's club' cannot compete with. Think of licensure as a marketable product that can give you an edge.

if you're feelings are hurt, your self esteem is probobly suffering, which is understandable if you are having trouble attracting customers. But be a bit more confident and assertive, and I am sure that it will pay off. Consider what you can offer that the competition cannot.

 

[Jaemie]

...grow a pair of balls...

Oh, gross! LOL

But I agree with Sw1tchFX's opinion. You shouldn't let it bother you. Besides, it's no big loss; working with family can be problematic for all sorts of reasons.