wildmaven
TPF Noob!
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2007
- Messages
- 985
- Reaction score
- 0
- Location
- Picking up dog poops
- Website
- wildmaven.org
- Can others edit my Photos
- Photos OK to edit
(c)wildmaven
1. First, remember that most people think their opinion is justified and valid. You are not going to change their opinion, so don't even try. Contact a moderator.
2. Ignore the post. I know, it's hard, but if you engage the person in a battle of wits and words, no one will ever "get the last word." Cyberspace is endless and flame wars can go on forever. There are people on the Internet, called trolls, who live for flame wars. They visit message boards and newsgroups, lurking, until they spot trouble. A "good" flame war can bring the parasites out of the woodwork, so to speak.
3. In your everyday posts, remember that everyone has their own sensitivity levels. What you may have thought was an appropriately worded reply could have easily been misinterpreted. Read, re-read, and read again all your messages before submitting them. This is even more important when you are tired, cranky, or have a kid clinging to your arm crying for something.
4. We all want to "make it better" but don't rush in thinking you can "fix this." In your efforts, you fan the flames, making them worse. If you act like their friend, they'll think what they're doing is okay. If you berate them, they will react like a kid who's mother just scolded them in front of all their friends. Don't get involved. With the "floating" messages, this is even more important. Don't bring the topic back to the top of the list.
5. Redirect the board. Everyone looks at a car accident. You need to turn their attentions back to the focus of the board. Now is the time to pull all your tricks out of your sleeves. Make the board so much fun that the flamer's posts quickly fade from the thoughts of the members. Eventually, the hot post will disappear into the "next page" section and will be even more out of sight.
6. What if the person disappears, and then comes back? They may have realized what a great board this is, and want to participate after all. It's hard to welcome someone who has given the board a black eye, but if they conduct themselves properly, let them play. Do not bring up the past. They may have had some time to think about it and may be feeling pretty stupid.
7. Do not assume that the next new member is them in disguise. It may BE them, tail tucked between their legs, but it might also be the next long term member. The best thing to do with a flame war is to ignore it, go about your business (and really work hard to make it a great place), and remain calm.
Marian
1. First, remember that most people think their opinion is justified and valid. You are not going to change their opinion, so don't even try. Contact a moderator.
2. Ignore the post. I know, it's hard, but if you engage the person in a battle of wits and words, no one will ever "get the last word." Cyberspace is endless and flame wars can go on forever. There are people on the Internet, called trolls, who live for flame wars. They visit message boards and newsgroups, lurking, until they spot trouble. A "good" flame war can bring the parasites out of the woodwork, so to speak.
3. In your everyday posts, remember that everyone has their own sensitivity levels. What you may have thought was an appropriately worded reply could have easily been misinterpreted. Read, re-read, and read again all your messages before submitting them. This is even more important when you are tired, cranky, or have a kid clinging to your arm crying for something.
4. We all want to "make it better" but don't rush in thinking you can "fix this." In your efforts, you fan the flames, making them worse. If you act like their friend, they'll think what they're doing is okay. If you berate them, they will react like a kid who's mother just scolded them in front of all their friends. Don't get involved. With the "floating" messages, this is even more important. Don't bring the topic back to the top of the list.
5. Redirect the board. Everyone looks at a car accident. You need to turn their attentions back to the focus of the board. Now is the time to pull all your tricks out of your sleeves. Make the board so much fun that the flamer's posts quickly fade from the thoughts of the members. Eventually, the hot post will disappear into the "next page" section and will be even more out of sight.
6. What if the person disappears, and then comes back? They may have realized what a great board this is, and want to participate after all. It's hard to welcome someone who has given the board a black eye, but if they conduct themselves properly, let them play. Do not bring up the past. They may have had some time to think about it and may be feeling pretty stupid.
7. Do not assume that the next new member is them in disguise. It may BE them, tail tucked between their legs, but it might also be the next long term member. The best thing to do with a flame war is to ignore it, go about your business (and really work hard to make it a great place), and remain calm.
Marian
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