I got invited to a wedding...because I have a camera.

[smoke665]

I agree. No need to be rude just because they are ignorant. Some people just don't know any better. Decline the invite or go and have a good time - take pics if you want to or leave the dslr behind - suit yourself. If they ask about pictures just smile and say you're only there for the free food!

Or you could go to the wedding, take pics there, photoshop in some warts for the bride and maybe copy and paste the grooms eyebrows so they become a single eyebrow - then post them to facebook.

You know come to think of it I haven't been invited to take pictures at a family wedding in a long, long time.. lol

You're devious -I like it!!! Probably a good thing Photoshop and social media wasn't around back when, or I would have been the black sheep for sure.

 

[smoke665]

As you get well into the senior years you learn that you really don't care if others are talking about you, because we have more pressing things to worry about, like waking up in the morning. The other thing seniors have going is that we are usually expected to be blunt, no one would dare say anything for fear they would get an earful. I had a close friend that passed away last year who had developed bluntness to an art form. His theory being that he'd put up with other people's crap for years, he'd served his time. Man would give you the shirt off his back, but act stupid and he'd let you know, didn't matter who you were.

 

[robbins.photo]

You're devious -I like it!!! Probably a good thing Photoshop and social media wasn't around back when, or I would have been the black sheep for sure.

Lol.. I like to think of myself as a "trendsetter". It just sounds so much nicer than "instigator".

 

[The_Traveler]

As you get well into the senior years you learn that you really don't care if others are talking about you, because we have more pressing things to worry about, like waking up in the morning. The other thing seniors have going is that we are usually expected to be blunt, no one would dare say anything for fear they would get an earful.

Well, since Smoke665 set the ground rules that older people can be blunt, I'll be blunt.

Anyone suggesting that nerwin should be rude is not only rude and self centered but clearly doesn't have a clue about the way life works.

Alternative one: nerwin says he's busy with a paying gig. The result is that they realize that he earns money for this and that they should have thought of this earlier. When asked why they don't have pictures, they have only themselves to blame.

Alternative two: nerwin does tell them off and feels good for two minutes and they don't get pictures. So, instead of realizing that nerwin is a competent guy and they were wrong to take him for granted and not to ask him earlier, he beomes their scapegoat from them on.
Any time anyone asks why they don't have pictures, it's not their fault, it's because their stuck up cousin was too big an @$$hole to do it, even when he knew they didn't have $ and would otherwise get no pictures. So everyone in the family will hear about this forever.

People don't get disliked because they are blunt, they get disliked because they are stupidly blunt and make enemies instead of points.

 

[table1349]

Well if you don't want to be asked to do this for family everytime something comes up, take the camera shot lots of photos. Cut off heads, arms, legs etc. Take photos of the most uninteresting things like the floor tiles, bricks, some old lady sleeping in the corner. Use the Dutch Tilt in every photo with no less than 45 degrees of tilt. Catch the most unflattering of moments of the bride, groom, crowd etc.
Once you are all done and have shown the lucky couple the results, tell them that you have already made a web page of their happy day and posted all the photos to it.

 

[smoke665]

People don't get disliked because they are blunt, they get disliked because they are stupidly blunt and make enemies instead of points.

Go back and reread my first sentence. "I don't care". That doesn't mean that I go out of my way to hurt someone's feelings, nor do I say things not true. It also doesn't mean that I haven't ever helped a relative, friend or neighbor who truly needed my help. I have learned that those who would make callous or rude requests very seldom learn anything until they meet a blunt wall. And if they don't, then I refer them back to the first sentence again.

 

[waday]

Anyone suggesting that nerwin should be rude is not only rude and self centered but clearly doesn't have a clue about the way life works.

I completely agree that nerwin shouldn't be rude.. It's family, and there's no need to burn bridges.

But, isn't there a third option where nerwin politely declines and still goes as a guest to support the bride and groom? Declining to go to a family's wedding because he's getting paid to do something else may also be taken as rude, as well, no? If anything, the first alternative should be to just decline due to previously scheduled commitments.

I mean, as long as nerwin actually wants to go, haha.

 

[jaomul]

I look at these things a bit differently. It is possible that OP may have been asked to the wedding for his big camera.

It may also be possible he'd have been asked anyway, but said relation saw and liked his photos so mentioned to bring it because there was a good chance he'd take some nice photos to add. Most NON PROS I know who have an interest in photography might even be flattered that someone may want photos from them. It's not like they want you to work all day, just grab a photo with an eye someone else may not have.

 

[robbins.photo]

Ok, so in all seriousness here there are a lot of ways to handle this without ruffling a ton of feathers. I guess the first question for Nerwin would be, how hurt are you in all reality? I mean is this something that's really worth making a huge hairy deal over or is it just more of a, well that seemed a bit rude I'll post a quick rant and then I'm over it kind of deal?

If it's the later, and I suspect that it probably is, then maybe contact the cousin and just ask, are you hiring a pro for the event? Explain that the reason your asking is that you don't want to interfere with another photographer and run the risk of perhaps spoiling there big day.

If they say no, they are not, tell them you'd be more than happy to get some shots of the wedding, just emphasis that your not a pro but you'll do the best you can. I would not consider asking for payment and if they want to pay I would just tell them of course not, your family and I'd be more than happy to do this for you. Mixing business with family usually doesn't turn out well.

If they say they are hiring a pro just explain that most pros prefer that they don't have family members stepping on their toes, so tell them you'll be happy to come out and support them but you'll leave the camera at home.

Regardless keep in mind their goal here may not have been some sort of indentured servitude with you performing as a photographer for their wedding. Most of my own relatives know I'm a big photography buff and they'll often ask me to bring my camera not so much because they want pictures, they just want to let me know that my camera is welcome there and that they don't mind if I take photos of the event.

Lew does make a very valid point, in that there really is no point in going to war over something that isn't worth going to war over, so unless this is a big deal to you for some reason, not really worth it.

 

[PropilotBW]

Your cousin complimented you on your photography, so congrats!
Why bail out of the wedding all together??
There is free food, dessert, and most importantly, beer!! You'd be silly to pass up on free beer.

Just don't make yourself to be a photographer. Go, enjoy your family, take your smartphone and snap a photo if you want to preserve a memory.

 

[cherylynne1]

I've been in this position a few times and always say the same thing:

"Weddings are a very specialized branch of photography, and I have neither the equipment nor the experience to do it properly. I would be more than happy to help you find a qualified photographer in your budget."

 

[DarkShadow]

Sounds like my cousin that don't even bother to pick up a phone to call and she is the god mother one of my sons and don't even bother with him.One day she sees my wildlife photography on FB then sends a friends request which I accept and a week latter wants me to take baby pictures. I said No thanks not my type of photography and its been quiet ever since. Wedding invites are not free food or drinks because my family tradition and decency is the gift of money which could be up to a couple hundred dollars.

 

[smoke665]

Anyone suggesting that nerwin should be rude is not only rude and self centered but clearly doesn't have a clue about the way life works.

I completely agree that nerwin shouldn't be rude.. It's family, and there's no need to burn bridges.

But, isn't there a third option where nerwin politely declines and still goes as a guest to support the bride and groom? Declining to go to a family's wedding because he's getting paid to do something else may also be taken as rude, as well, no? If anything, the first alternative should be to just decline due to previously scheduled commitments.

I mean, as long as nerwin actually wants to go, haha.

Unfortunately there is not a one size fits all answer for people. If I had a relative, friend excertera that I knew was struggling I would gladly gift my services or contribute financial support without being asked, and would not be offended. Same holds true for charitable events. There are also those people who speak without thinking, for those I would probably decline using the excuse that I would much rather celebrate their special day/event without distraction and suggest an alternative. That said there are those people out there who are "users" they use others simply because they can. I have no qualms about being blunt with them because I can assure you not offending them will do nothing toward changing their ways, nor keep them from talking about you. In their case I use the response "Is my invitation contingent on that".

 

[Netskimmer]

I used to live in a rural area where religion is a pretty big thing. I'm not much for it myself but I (and my "big" camera) would always get invited to Gospel sings and community events. I would usually go because I liked to support the community and I got to photograph people and things that I usually didn't get to. I usually got to eat for free as well. So I would spend the day in a friendly atmosphere taking pics I wouldn't normally have the opportunity to take, and lots of home-cooked free food. Was a win-win.

 

[Dave442]

I've ended up doing these things a few times. I have shot two weddings in B&W (first was on film) and that is what I gave them.

It is an open door to be creative, go have fun.