ferny
No longer a newbie, moving up!
I hope I'm not too late though. A lot of other people have used this technique and the boat may have gone.
I'm going to grow my hair so that it reaches my chin, get it cut so it's jagged and then dye half of it blonde. Next I'm going to slip on a light-weight jumper which is too big, then stand on a stage and pretend to sing with an annoyingly nasal high-pitched American accent. That's right, I'm going to be the lead singer of a band!
But I need help. I'm looking for three other people who can play the guitar (actually, you just have to know how to hold one) and another person who can play (bash about on) the drums. The music will be written by other people so that's not a worry. The instruments will also be handed out to someone else and our voices can be made half descent with the aid of some electronic thingy which looks very complicated. I think that's all the people we need. We're sure to use a keyboard on almost all of our songs, and perhaps the odd track with violins, but no-one will ask us were those sounds came from as we stand on stage prancing about looking like we are in desperate need of a toilet.
There are lots of other people who have tried this before us, but I think we'll be fine. We'll be aiming our "music" at the twelves and under. There are loads of them, more appear year after year to. There's plenty of money there as they beg mummy and daddy for our CD's. Grannies will be queuing to splash their pensions on us to, I'm sure of it. Of course, we're not going to admit that we only exist to fleece parents of their money. If you want to join you'll have to sign a contract which states that at any mention of use being a boy band you'll throw a strop. And to cover up our true intentions a few of our songs with have hard hitting words such as "ass", we will insinuate that we get drunk now and then (but really we can't because the record bosses will fire our arses if we do!!!) and for one track on each album we'll have to say "****" at some point.
We do have a short shelf life, I'll admit that. 18 months perhaps? If we really hit the big time we could push for as much as 24 and play a couple of gigs in Japan! But that's the beauty of it. When the band splits we all get to go off and do our own thing. We'll all be famous (erm, sort of) and that will be the perfect spring board to really move our lives forward. Everyone will be rushing to our agents to get us to do lots of exciting things. Just like when all the other bands before us have vanished into thin air. Ahh... I wish I hadn't said that now. That may make this look like a bad idea. Erm, just ignore that last bit.
So, anyone interested?
I'm going to grow my hair so that it reaches my chin, get it cut so it's jagged and then dye half of it blonde. Next I'm going to slip on a light-weight jumper which is too big, then stand on a stage and pretend to sing with an annoyingly nasal high-pitched American accent. That's right, I'm going to be the lead singer of a band!
But I need help. I'm looking for three other people who can play the guitar (actually, you just have to know how to hold one) and another person who can play (bash about on) the drums. The music will be written by other people so that's not a worry. The instruments will also be handed out to someone else and our voices can be made half descent with the aid of some electronic thingy which looks very complicated. I think that's all the people we need. We're sure to use a keyboard on almost all of our songs, and perhaps the odd track with violins, but no-one will ask us were those sounds came from as we stand on stage prancing about looking like we are in desperate need of a toilet.
There are lots of other people who have tried this before us, but I think we'll be fine. We'll be aiming our "music" at the twelves and under. There are loads of them, more appear year after year to. There's plenty of money there as they beg mummy and daddy for our CD's. Grannies will be queuing to splash their pensions on us to, I'm sure of it. Of course, we're not going to admit that we only exist to fleece parents of their money. If you want to join you'll have to sign a contract which states that at any mention of use being a boy band you'll throw a strop. And to cover up our true intentions a few of our songs with have hard hitting words such as "ass", we will insinuate that we get drunk now and then (but really we can't because the record bosses will fire our arses if we do!!!) and for one track on each album we'll have to say "****" at some point.
We do have a short shelf life, I'll admit that. 18 months perhaps? If we really hit the big time we could push for as much as 24 and play a couple of gigs in Japan! But that's the beauty of it. When the band splits we all get to go off and do our own thing. We'll all be famous (erm, sort of) and that will be the perfect spring board to really move our lives forward. Everyone will be rushing to our agents to get us to do lots of exciting things. Just like when all the other bands before us have vanished into thin air. Ahh... I wish I hadn't said that now. That may make this look like a bad idea. Erm, just ignore that last bit.
So, anyone interested?
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