Input/Advice Needed --- Etiquette question

Cool2bahdude · Apr 22, 2011

Alright, Let me introduce myself. I am a HUGE lurker on this site. Pretty sure this is my first post, yet I check this site multiple times everyday. So I know all the big posters here, and recognize who could quite possibly start trouble in this thread

Anyway, recently a situation has popped up, and I've decided to actually post in these forums, because I'm pretty sure that something similar has happened to someone more knowledgeable here.

So... I attended a friends wedding a few weeks ago. I brought my camera along, because this was the first wedding I attended since I got into photography, and I wanted to at least take a few pictures, but mostly watch the hired pro and talk to her for a bit during the reception. A lot of my good friends I haven't seen since the summer were also at the wedding, so I barely took any pictures because I was more interested in catching up with them. I ended up with 9 pictures making it through lightroom, which I posted on facebook, not advertised as my own wedding, just showing that I was there, and that I did have a camera with me.

A few days after I posted these pictures, the father of the Bride messaged me saying that he really liked the pictures, they were of professional quality, and that the were worth money anywhere in the world. I thanked him for the compliments and went on my way. About a week later, he messaged me again, asking if I could send him the pictures that I took for "family history and such". I stalled by saying that all I took was up on facebook, just the nine pictures. He said that he especially wanted three pictures, one of the bride, one of the who party walking across the field, and then one of his other daughter, who was a bridesmaid.

At this point, I ask those who are more knowledgeable than me, should I send this guy the images of his daughter at her wedding? My gut reaction was to not send them, because I felt that offering full size images free of charge would undermine the hired professional. I've seen the previews of what she took at the wedding, and it's great stuff. When looking at her prices on her website I honestly think she is selling herself short. But on the other hand, it's not like I could charge for the pictures and be in an any better place... So I really don't know what to do. I think that people with a PnS would hand out pictures more readily than I would, simply cause they aren't aspiring photographers and don't realize that there was someone shooting there to make their living off of... I don't know...

So if you guys could chime in on what you think I should do in this situation, that'd be much appreciated.

tirediron · Apr 22, 2011

This would in part I think depend on the nature of the relationship between the bride and you. Given that you only have nine images, I don't think you'll undercut the 'hired gun'. My thought would be to give them to the FIL/Couple with the proviso that I could use them in my portfolio.

Mike_E · Apr 22, 2011

Assuming that the bride is on good terms with her father, send him the files with your complements.

The only way I wouldn't is if the FotB isn't on good terms with the bride or your friend. If the pro is really a pro then they already have been paid and simply need to provide the contracted images. If anyone else is wondering, no you shouldn't expect or demand payment for photos like these from the family without first having an agreement to be paid no matter how good they are. After all you were their guest, you ate their food and drank their refreshments.

Cool2bahdude · Apr 23, 2011

Okay, I'm still undecided, but as far as giving him pictures, should it be three pictures on a CD, of three files emailed, or finding someplace to have prints made? I've never had to have anything printed before, but I"m nearly positive there is no local option in this town so I'd have to send them to Mpix or something similar.

Yes, I am great friends with the Bride, and her and her father get along fine.

Should I ask that my name be mentioned if the pictures I took ever get talked about? I don't have my own business, and I'm not looking to open one, but all of the jobs I've been hired for up to this point have been by word of mouth, so that might lead to more inquiries in the future.

Thanks for the help guys! Normally I just turn to google for answers, but this left me stumped!

imagemaker46 · Apr 24, 2011

Personally I would e-mail the files to the bride with compliments and a good luck in the future type message. You're not undercutting the anyone, these are simply photos from a friend who attended the wedding. Tell her that he dad liked them. A nice gesture like this will come back your way at some point. If you decide to have some, or print some photos yourself, you'll be out a few bucks, again not a big deal, but it will come back to you in good ways.

Mike_E · Apr 24, 2011

If you like there are several ways to put your signature on a lower corner of the image. Done tastefully it even adds a bit of panache.

Bynx · Apr 24, 2011

I think the Bride and Groom come first. You shouldnt send any pics of the wedding to anyone unless they have a copy as well. So in this case imagemaker has hit it right on. Send the files to the bride (your friend) and tell her that her father wants a set. If she wants, then you would be happy to send him a set, her call. Everyone should be happy with that. Now what do you get out of this? Well, what do you expect to do with the pics? Can you sell them to a stock photo? Are they worthy for a rag tabloid? Probably nothing, so why not just be a nice guy? For a few files you will generate some good will. As for putting your name in the corner, I just dont know. One one hand Id say sure why not. You took them. On the other hand, does it really matter if only the immediate family will ever see it. You will never be forgotten though if the marriage should last. Your name forever attached to their special time.

Cool2bahdude · Apr 24, 2011

Alright, I've now emailed the bride the pictures. I think that was the best option presented. Thanks for all the input guys!

bigtwinky · Apr 25, 2011

And now the next step.... post up the images so we can all see!

Joshonator · Apr 30, 2011

I probably would have sent him the images in low quality so that he cant use them as large prints. So he would be forced to use the pro photographers work for the larger ones but couldn't get angry at you because you sent the pictures.