Really, that's an unanswerable question. What is the purpose of the image? A fantastic PJ image could be a terrible portrait, and vice-versa. I see it as an interesting image; there are things I would do differently, but it is definitely "okay".
If you consider comments from the peanut gallery to aid you in getting to the "next level" (lol) then here is my offering:
white balance might be off
light would work better a little higher, so it's not mostly illuminating your neck
could use a bit more on the right to define your head and shoulders
model needs to work on his pose