It is OK, I am a photographer, not a pervert...

[MACollum]

You very much can be too over protective of your children and that is the problem.

1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.
1 in 5 children are solicited sexually while on the internet.

30-40% of victims are abused by a family member.
Another 50% are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.
Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know.
Therefore, only 10% are abused by strangers.

http://www.darkness2light.org/KnowAbout/statistics_2.asp

This is just to show that the problem is VERY widepread and that there is good reason to be over-protective. Strangers are obviously the least of your worries but people you don't know are more likely to take a bold approach that seems innocent (IMO).

I'm not trying to go off-topic, just pointing out why people are and should be careful. I would question the motive of anyone asking to take pictures of my kids, because generally, most people wouldn't be interested in my kids at all. The odds of someone being interested in my kids because they're beautiful are much less than the odds of someone being interested because they're a pervert.

All that aside, I'm NOT an overprotective parent. I give my kids a healthy dose of independence when they show that they are responsibe enough for it. The key is to help them learn to trust their gut, not their rational thoughts. I've been freaked out to the point of panic before just from the sight of some people who were normal-looking (because of my gut insinct, but I won't go into the situation now). At the same time, I've been around some pretty scary-looking people and had no instinctual reaction.

All in all, however, it's not a good idea to take how someone looks and decide they're a pervert. It sucks to live in a society where we can't trust anyone because of the bad few.

 

[usayit]

RMThompson, Thats a perfect time to bring it up actually... Since you were shooting a wedding that she attended it brings creditability to you.

 

[Iron Flatline]

I find that a lot of communities, virtual or physical, have members that rush to be the first to wag a finger. They revel in being the person to point something out as inappropriate, or to generally spot-light something as being potentially contraversial or uncomfortable. They can't wait to mention statistics or anecdotes that silence everyone, that noone dares to question. Everything is frozen in fear, but at least that person has full attention of everyone. They're just as dangerous.

...and I'm seriously worried about typing something like this because somehow somewhere someone might choose to use it as proof that I'm somehow "pro-abuse" or that I don't care.

It's an insane world. Don't be quiet about it, regardless of the insanity being perpetrated.

 

[Rick Waldroup]

http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=90660

I believe that is the thread usayit was referring to.

We live in the age of the fear factor.

I refuse to live that way.

 

[craig]

Big up Rick! Macollum: We are all familiar with the statistics. They are frightening to say the least. Of course trust your instincts, but do not let them rule your life. We simply have to start trusting and understanding people or we will all be living in gated communities.

Love & Bass

 

[RMThompson]

An ounce of security cost a pound of freedom.

However, I also believe that a society that fails to protect it's children is not much of a society.

That being said, seemingly contradictory, In this case, making your intentions clear can be not as abrupt and saying "you have great eyes here is my card." That might just be as bad, since she still might assume bad intentions.

I think the way to go about it is to approach, and apologize, says she looks familiar, (familiar is a generic enough word not to cause panic) and ask if she has ever done any modeling. This statement doesn't infer any want or need on your part, and likely to flatter the subject. If the answer is warm, then follow up with your intentions.

 

[Big Mike]

Along with that, I think that being honest is a good start. If you tell them right off, that you are worried about approaching them, in fear of being thought of as a pervert...it may dispel some of the fear.

 

[usayit]

I wonder if having a female assistant will help bring tensions down and foster a little bit of trust? Much in the same manner that a male doctor usually requests to have a female nurse present depending on the type of examination.

 

[Rick Waldroup]

I wonder if having a female assistant will help bring tensions down and foster a little bit of trust? Much in the same manner that a male doctor usually requests to have a female nurse present depending on the type of examination.

I do a little on-location head shot work every now and then, and when it comes to female clients, I absolutely make sure I have a female assistant with me, which is usually my wife or my daughter.

It certainly eases the tension of the client. I also make sure the client knows beforehand that I will be bringing a female assistant to the photo shoot. I cannot tell you how many times I get a look or sigh of relief when I tell them that.

 

[nossie]

Sorry I didn't see this long running thread sooner (I started another that I'd can't close out)

So Ok there are pervs out there and they do cause us to keep our guard up but thinking positive how can we overcome these fears taking it one situation at a time.

If I'm out there with my child and someone points a camera at him, I'm not going to worry about the child being harmed but what's the photo for anyay? I know I'm a good hearted photographer but who's he? Starting a conversation is a good way to go I'm sure. Which brings me to the point that communication is probably the key. We all know or should know that making our subjects comforable working with us is vital.

Personally I would rephrase some of the approaches above - you see a pretty person that you'd like to shoot, don't ask can you take their picture but rather if suggest if ever she's interested in being shot that she should call you because you think they have something to give to the camera. She's probably never thought of such a thing so she'll need to come around to the idea and it's important not to overwhelm.

But in the situation of many kids in a park how can I avoid a panic frenzy. Keep in mind that the kids here are thought to look out for each other. I take out a camera a kid goes running home to tell his mam/dad that there's some man in the park taking pictures of the kids. The parent comes over on the attack not privy to the mind of the photographer.

I might start by saying that I'm making a postcard for the area. I am but I'm not expecting to feature close-ups of people in it.

We just had a new play area built in the local park. It's great. The kids around here are wild and they'll break anything but this is unbreakable. The inject all their energy into wrecking it and they're even willing to sacrifice a limb or a plate in their skull but they can't break it. We have security cameras that link up to the Police Station and night time lighting so undesireables can't loiter there. It's a great success! It's colourful, it's got shapes and angles, it's got plants and nature and 100 delighted children there everyday. A great place to photograph the energy in the area... but I wouldn't dare walk through with a camera bag for fear someone would suggest I was up to foul play with the kiddies.
It's a working class area so there's plenty of scags just ready to say "there's that dirty b*st*rd taking pictures of the kids" but even beyond the likes of them there are people that just can't possibly accept anyone taking pictures of their children just because the look awesome.

 

[Battou]

I might start by saying that I'm making a postcard for the area. I am but I'm not expecting to feature close-ups of people in it.

No, don't that. If you are approched by a parent and you give that kind information they may relax a bit, however the proud parent under the impression a post card is comming will be looking threw the post cards at the local retailer so he/she can point out her little boy/girl to all their friends. When no post card happens you look even worse off than before, as now in their minds you are making excuses for being there. It's a common tool of the pedoperves everyone is worried about. There is also the possibility that the parent could call bullsht leaving you in the same position that much sooner.

But in the situation of many kids in a park how can I avoid a panic frenzy. Keep in mind that the kids here are thought to look out for each other. I take out a camera a kid goes running home to tell his mam/dad that there's some man in the park taking pictures of the kids. The parent comes over on the attack not privy to the mind of the photographer.

Short lens, using shorter a lens and taking wider angle shot. You can tell them that you are shooting the park and not any particular child. If you have to you can let them take a look threw the view finder and see just how much of the park you are getting and how the children play into it.

 

[nossie]

Great advice Battou - Thanks!

 

[JerryPH]

It applies to other careers as well. Teachers are advised to be extremely careful and coaching a team of young boys or girls also has new "dangers".

Oh, I *so* live that near everyday. As a computer instructor, every now and then I stand behind the sitting (always adult) student and follow through with them if they need help.

I now stand 2-4 feet away from their chair, NEVER reach over to touch their mouse or keyboard and use a lazer pointer to assist and tell them what I want them to do. I never look anywhere except the monitor, unless they turn and look me in the face, at which point I step back 1-2 steps. This goes for the men just as much as the ladies.

Once in the same class, and I kid you not, I had a woman near exposing herself and smiled each time she thought I was starring down her extemely low cut top (I've had years of practice keeping strict eye to eye contact, so no prolems with "straying looks"). I had to share my feelings... after the end of that day's session, I said; "ms. XYZ, I could not care less what you wore... but what posessed you to put that kind of attire on in a professional environment?" Her answer? "I like it when I can make men uncomfortable". Uhhmm, ok.

I told her I had daughters older than her (which I do not, BTW), and that she didn't have anything I've never seen before, but thanks for playing... lol. She came the last few days to my class dressed "properly".

That was a walking lawsuit waiting to happen. I am happy that I work in a branch of the computer field where women are few and very far between as students in my classes (advanced security and technical networking classes).

I'm still always very respectful of not invading personal space and watchful of avoiding anything even remotely on the same planet as sexual harrassment.

 

[Sw1tchFX]

The other day, I saw a young lady working in the grocery store who had amazing eyes. She had that kind of shining blue eyes that just simply glow in print. Otherwise, she was a fairly normal looking teen (15ish) and apparently I was staring at her eyes...

She caught my look, and for the quickest of moments she glanced around to see if anybody else was nearby. I was actually kind of startled that I might make somebody a bit nervous. I am the most harmless person on the planet, and wouldn't hurt a fly (literally... I am a strict vegetarian).

I wanted to walk over to her and say "It's OK, I am a photographer and not a pervert... you have amazing eyes and I would love to take your picture (with, of course, your mom in the room with us)" but I just kind of walked away.

I am not really sure what my point is on this post, other than I later felt amused that the "photographer, not pervert" line popped into my head at that point in time.

It's because you're a man. If a woman did that, nobody would even blink an eye, and they'd just think she's crazy.

sucks don' it?

 

[Battou]

It's because you're a man. If a woman did that, nobody would even blink an eye, and they'd just think she's crazy.

sucks don' it?

That applies to so many fields it's not funny, right now I am employed as a Child Care Provider and I tell you some of the dirty looks I get are astounding. For some odd reason it is a natural predisposition of women towards unrelated men interacting with children, a stereotype if you will.