Love, break ups and why I dont cope

[LilCujo]

I would have to agree with Osmer, women tend to hold things a little longer then needed.

Trust me I still hold on to things that should have been let go a billion years ago..its easy to say " just let it go, or it will get better with time" and they are caring suggestions from all of your friends here..which is nice in its self to look back and realize what a nice relationship you have here with everyone..that has to make you feel a little bit better even just to talk about it. Only you know how you work, just deal with each thing separately and one day at a time. If you feel that counseling will help you with dealing with the pain, go for it..if talking on here helps more power to you...just do what makes you feel better..other then shooting him of course and well if you do that better have some good pics of the before look ....

 

[Mitica100]

Manda,

Like someone else suggested before, you need to make Manda happy. Go out, have a ball, take pictures while at it, enjoy nature, do something out of the ordinary that you will remember as a great accomplishment.

I think I'll do something for ya...

...look out for my post #400!

 

[ceno2000]

manda - reading you post is like hearing myself - even the compulsive shopping i actually went to therapy for a while and things got better but i had to quit b/c my suck a** insrance
it does help though

 

[drlynn]

Hang in there, Manda. If it didn't hurt so much, then it really wasn't love, ya know?

People you have no feelings for can annoy you, anger you, etc, but they can't make you hurt the way someone you love(d) can.

But ask yourself, "If what's-his-name is gonna be like this forever (he is) can I deal with staying with him?" If the answer is no, then letting the door hit him on the way out is for the best.

Yes, it hurts. I've been married to the most wonderful woman I know for nearly 6 years, wouldn't lose her for any woman I've ever seen. But, once in a while I'll think about one of my ex's, (who treated me similarly to the way it sounds as if you've been treated, only I was stupid enough to keep coming back for more, for about 5 years) and it still hurts, if I let it.

The trick is to not let it. When that feeling starts, I forcibly remind myself that I'm better off not putting up with the crap. Then I remind myself of the things I'm thankful for, and how good my life is.

You're an incredible girl, Manda, and I wish you all the happiness in the world. I think you know how everyone here feels about you (except maybe Trish, he hides his feelings so :shock: ) and that we all hurt with you right now.

:hug: (that's from Daniel, my 7-month old. He's good at loves.)

 

[GimpyPoop]

Yo,
I've been lurking for awhile, but let me just say that . . . I can COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY relate to you. I just got out of a whirlwind mindf*ck of a long-term relationship and I about to implode (yes I am implode, damnit!) at any given moment.
I don't want to publicly delve too much into my personaly situation, but if you want to rant I'm totally here.
Me, the Flea

 

[Luminosity]

i have heard it said that you need to be in a non-relationship phase for as long as you were in the relationship you just broke off before you allow yourself to begin another. (i.e. if you were with the second-to-the-last guy for a 2 yrs, you should wait 2 yrs before entering into another serious relationship)

Yikes Tobes , I ended my 6 year engagement about a year and a half ago ..... so I only have about 4 and a half years of being a free woman to go lol

Manda , oh if only we could cup our hands around your heart and soothe the hurt there ......:hug: :love:
Everyone that has commented on this thread has valuable advice for you darl ...any advice I could offer you isnt that different to what they've said already. You have a lot of very intelligent and supportive friends here for you whenever you need...
Not sure if you're familiar with Kahlil Gibran and his works. He wrote The Prophet ( which I LOVE ) and there is a passage on love in there that you might like ...

Heres the link if you wanna read it.

http://www.columbia.edu/~gm84/gibran2.html

 

[manda]

You guys made me teary with all this.
THank you so much to all of you.
Ive had a great weekend so far and have had my mind in other places so Im doing much better.

I will get over this, Im already feeling I will be ok not too far from now. A bit of attention I received over the weekend has helped too.