Men beating on woman

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jcdeboever

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There has been a great deal of publicity evolving lately on woman beaten by prolific sports stars. I hate the thought of striking a woman. However, I am curious as to why it happens so frequently with men who are in the view at all times.

I wonder...

Have men lost there place in society? Are we only good for romance?

Should we focus on romance because we are no longer valued as a viable contributer and protector?

If we are high income producers, are we a Target or a catch?

Imo, in mass, us men have lost our function. Media produces our function.

Is it bad for a man such as an example, Jona to take care of his kids, work, and live a prosperous life? Why isn't Jona celebrated for his commitment to his family?

Something is out of order in this world.
 

smoke665

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I can tell you from personal experience that the domestic calls I ran as a Fire/1st responder, had no financial or "notoriety" boundaries. We might be in a low income residence one day or mini mansion the next. It may sound callous, but there wasn't any news value in the "poor folk" beating the crap out of each other, but the papers would be all over some well known family.

Domestic abuse has always been a more serious problem then most people realize.
 

Flash Harry

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Glad I don't do sport any more, I've also never beat the wife and we've been through the mill over the last 25 years, silver anniversary next month and she keeps mentioning it and what we'll be doing to celebrate it and I haven't got a clue so it looks like some domestic violence heading my way shortly, however I don't mind, its 22 years since she laid me out in the garden with a bricklayers spirit level, lol.
 

waday

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Males (especially white males) have lots of privilege in this world. Not sure what you're getting at here?
 

pixmedic

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My wife will draw blood sometimes...but only when I ask nicely.

Make it hurt so bad, 'cause it feels so good when you stop.

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jcdeboever

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Males (especially white males) have lots of privilege in this world. Not sure what you're getting at here?
Lots of men beating up woman is in the news, all that I'm saying. It's disgusting, white, black, purple, or orange. I don't understand.
 

smoke665

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Males (especially white males) have lots of privilege in this world. Not sure what you're getting at here?

Obviously you haven't been on the responding end of domestic calls or you'd know, race or sex isn't necessarily a factor. Blacks, Hispanic, White, Native American,...... not a lot of difference in one or the other, especially when alcohol or drugs are involved. Same with male or female. Though black females seemed less likely to file charges than other races, resulting in multiple calls to the same location.
 
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terri

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I appreciate the intent towards a healthy discussion on a subject that, yes, crosses all societal boundaries.

There are lots of ways this could go off the rails, however. Please keep the discussion respectful. Thanks!
 

smoke665

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I don't understand.

As I said earlier, on most of the calls I responded to, drugs or alcohol was usually the catalyst. Not saying that made it ok, just the way it was. The calls that made me violently ill, and still haunt my dreams, were those involving children. Like the non-responsive baby we couldn't revive, and found out later it's neck had been snapped by a father who had violently shook the infant because he was crying, or any number of children with cigarette burn marks on them, because they didn't act quick enough when told to do something. Our oldest son and his wife are fostering a precious 2 yr old girl, that was taken by the state, after the mother had punished her for not using the potty, by putting her in a bathtub and pouring boiling water on her, causing major 2nd degree burns on her back. Lot of sicko people out there JC, unfortunately just doesn't always make it to the news.
 

waday

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Males (especially white males) have lots of privilege in this world. Not sure what you're getting at here?
Lots of men beating up woman is in the news, all that I'm saying. It's disgusting, white, black, purple, or orange. I don't understand.

My response with respect to:

Is it bad for a man such as an example, Jona to take care of his kids, work, and live a prosperous life? Why isn't Jona celebrated for his commitment to his family?

Something is out of order in this world.
Out of order in this world? It's a male dominated world, unfortunately.

Generally, it only gets publicized when it's from a public figure.

And..
Obviously you haven't...
Interesting that you seemed to focus on race in my statement, while that statement was geared solely towards men in our society.
 

smoke665

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while that statement was geared solely towards men in our society.

If I misread your intent, then I apologize, though if that was your intent, then leaving off the "Males (especially white males)" would have made much clearer, the direction you were going. As written it lead me to believe that you were saying "White males" have some sort of lock on abuse, when in reality abuse is not limited by race, ethnicity, religion, age or sex. Again from my experiences on domestic calls, men were more likely to be victims of gunshot or stabbing, women more bruises, broken bones, and abrasions, though I've bandaged a fair number of knife wounds on them as well. Domestic abuse of anyone is a sore point with me, primarily because of my experiences, and is a serious problem that doesn't get nearly the media attention it should. Unless it's a celebrity or other well known individual, it's a dirty little secret that no one wants to talk about. I don't recall off hand the total percentage of our calls that are tagged domestic, but it's significant, and then we have those calls that they don't declare (fall, or accident but you know the truth). It's a subject that needs serious open discussion about help and assistance for victims, and counseling/training for the perpetrator, without bringing racism, sexism, or any other "ism" into the mix, to break the cycle, because it is unfortunately a problem that can perpetuate through the generations, where we see the abused becoming the abuser.
 

Gary A.

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All violence is bad. Somehow violence based on hate seems worse than other forms of violence. Violence against a person less your physical equal somehow seems worse. I had a profession which I witnessed extreme violence nearly everyday. Violence will change you.

My parents and their generation have a much greater sense of propriety and treating others with respect than I.
 

limr

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The first law against domestic violence was passed in 1850. It wasn't until 1920 that the last state passed a law to make it illegal for a man to beat his wife. That was less than 100 years ago.

Even after laws were passed, arrests were rarely made. It wasn't until the 1970s that people finally stopped turning a blind eye. There were more laws starting in the 1990s that had more teeth and could actually protect women, not only because of consequences but because they were actually being enforced.

So just think - is there really more violence against women? Or is it just more visible now because a) it is FINALLY less acceptable, which in turn means there's more social stigma and more consequences, and so women feel safer to report the abuse, and b) there are more ways to capture photographic evidence of the abuse.

(And yet, just think of all the abuse that still does NOT get reported.)

This is not about men 'losing their place' - abuse is about insecurity, fear, and control. And quite frankly, I feel it is problem to imply that if we could all just appreciate what men do, then they won't beat us anymore. That's dancing dangerously close to the victim-blaming line.

Why can't a man be appreciated for being good to his family? Good question. Why can't a woman be appreciated for what she does for her family? Why can't men AND women both be appreciated for the good things they do even if they don't have families? These are also good questions. I just don't think they are the relevant questions to ask when the subject is domestic violence.
 

bribrius

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Some people just got it coming. Don't care what color or what gender. To think there is no person on this earth that deserves to have their azz kicked is utter nonsense. If you believe such a fairytale as no man or woman deserves to be hit i guess you haven't seen the screwed up things people do that i have.
 

bribrius

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There has been a great deal of publicity evolving lately on woman beaten by prolific sports stars. I hate the thought of striking a woman. However, I am curious as to why it happens so frequently with men who are in the view at all times.

I wonder...

Have men lost there place in society? Are we only good for romance?

Should we focus on romance because we are no longer valued as a viable contributer and protector?

If we are high income producers, are we a Target or a catch?

Imo, in mass, us men have lost our function. Media produces our function.

Is it bad for a man such as an example, Jona to take care of his kids, work, and live a prosperous life? Why isn't Jona celebrated for his commitment to his family?

Something is out of order in this world.
Dunno man. When i was young i was taught to never hit a woman. Well women have changed. Now i am raising boys. I am pro womens lib and pro equality. So i am teaching my boys to never hit a "lady". Basically, if some dumb chick hits one of them when they get older they have my total blessing to knock her the hell out. Equal rights...
 
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