Mustard

[Corry]

Joke...kinda gross:

Love Mustard. (This is a true story. If you have children you will
probably relate to this father.)

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun
with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.
The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in
our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife
suddenly at my side.

"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she
said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching
again
for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.

I had no napkin.

I licked it off.

It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have
sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did
the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, "Now
you know why they call that fancy mustard . . "Poupon."

 

[Meysha]

That is so gross.

 

[Hertz van Rental]

Put chillies in their milk and you won't notice the difference.

 

[mentos_007]

oh noo hahahahahaha poor daddy