Parrot tale.

[Mitica100]

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a
bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's
mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried
to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up, and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms
and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and
actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about
to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior,
when the bird continued, ..........


"May I ask what the turkey did?"

 

[mrsid99]

That's what i call an "attitude adjustment", thanks Mitica!

 

[Nytmair]

:LOL: good stuff

 

[Hertz van Rental]

There was a stage magician who had a pet parrot.
Every time the man did his act the parrot would give each trick away by shouting out things like 'it's up his sleeve' or 'it's in his hand.'
This was ruining the magicians act and so his career was on the rocks.
Finally his agent got him work on a cruise ship. But the parrot continued to ruin things by telling the audience how the magician was doing each trick.
Then one night, in the middle of the magician's act, the ship hit an iceberg and sank.
The magician and the parrot found themselves alone in a lifeboat. The parrot, seeing the look on the magician's face, decided it was better to keep his beak shut for a bit.
The two drifted on in silence for days until the parrot could stand it no longer. Turning to the magician he said "OK. I give up. What have you done with the ship?"