Please Help

Luke345678 · Dec 12, 2012

This is a very unusual post you are about to read but please hang in there and hear me out!

Okay so when I got into photography it started out pretty rough. I got some crud here and there but I ignored it because I loved what I was doing.

Recently my good friend decided he wanted to get into photography and after we talked for a while we purchased him a camera. He is not the richest kid in the world and started off like most of us with a point and shoot. He loves coming with me too take pictures and I try to teach him as much as possible. He has encountered the problem I had when I first got into photography of people being, well honestly people just being complete dicks. They make fun of him for his camera and call photography "gay" and such.

I personally never cared and pushed the matter aside but he is very self-conscious. I've tried helping him but he still thinks negatively. He is still pondering quitting photography. He says he loves it but he can't stand the constant crap he gets. He says that if everyone thinks he shouldn't be into photography then maybe he just shouldn't.

What I'm asking is for any kind advice you guys may have. I want to show him that there is a whole community that supports him and that think he should keep trying. I think after showing him the thread he will get over this silly situation. I'm sorry if this was difficult to understand, it was a little hard to word.

Thanks,

-Luke

joshua_ · Dec 12, 2012

Tough issue really.

I don't really know yall so it's tough to help much.

My first though is that this is probably not really related to photography. I'd imagine your friend needs to dig in and work on himself and figure out what the real issue is.

I'm thinking if all was ok, he wouldn't be concerned with what these 'other' people think or said. I don't find much use in masking issues or using a band-aid. These things will just come up over and over again if the root issue is not confronted.

Or, he's just around a bunch of folks he should not continue to be around.

I hope this post does not come off as mean, because I mean it in all kindness.

thevideographer · Dec 12, 2012

That's a very unusual thing to happen. Photographers might get some odd looks but it should increase popularity, not reduce it. Obviously your friend cares too much about the opinions of people who are idiots - and whose opinions don't really matter.

Mully · Dec 12, 2012

How would he react if someone did not like his picture .... this place might harden him if he knows what to expect coming in .... not everyone plays nice together and yes there are dicks in here like everywhere in the world. As I said I think it would strengthen him and his ability.

bratkinson · Dec 13, 2012

When I got back into photography after a 10 year hiatus or so, I started with a Canon G-3 point and shoot. I never had any 'flak' like your friend is taking. A photography friend/co-worker and I went on several shoots together, and other than his calling the G-3 a 'toy camera', that was about it. At other times, I presume anyone seeing me out and about with the G-3 figured I was either a tourist or some kind of nut trying to take good pictures with a 'toy camera'. They didn't realize I was using the G-3 (and later the G-5) to its' fullest...Av, Tv, and M most of the time. Perhaps it was putting a comparatively monster 550EX flash on it when indoors that convinced them I wasn't 'toying around'.

runnah · Dec 13, 2012

So he/you are worried about what random people think of the hobby?

Grow a thicker skin and tell the haters to **** off.

p.s. photography isn't gay, bisexual yes.

sm4him · Dec 13, 2012

Good grief. I have never, in 30+ years of carrying a camera around, had anyone make fun of me for my photography hobby. For loads of OTHER reasons, yes, but not because of photography. :lol:

I've never even HEARD of that. When I was in high school, they used to treat the band kids and A/V helpers like nerds (which, speaking as one of the A/V kids, we were...) and "make fun of us" but it wasn't really that mean-spirited. Plus, we knew that we were picked to run the A/V equipment because we were pretty smart, and our smart nerdiness would take us a LOT further in life than their youthful athleticism and good looks.

Only advice I could give your friend is the same thing I used to say to my ultra-sensitive oldest son:
1. If you react by getting upset, crying, etc--you let them win. If you quit because they make fun of you--you let them win. You're essentially letting the bully take your lunch when you let people like that affect your actions or your emotions. Don't let them take your lunch!!

and, in the few instances where persistent adherence didn't work:
2. Don't hit first. And when you retaliate, make sure you know how to throw a punch. And for goodness sake, DON'T do it where the teachers see you! :lmao:

Denon · Dec 13, 2012

I don´t know if this is relevant but I would personally show him the "Pro photographer,Cheap camera - series" from Digitalrev.com

This shows there is no such thing as a "toy camera" and it's not the camera that takes the photo, it's the photographer! And every photographer needs to start somewhere and I belive that many of us her started with a P&S.

JackandSally · Dec 13, 2012

I'm 4 foot 10. Growing up was not the easiest. I got made fun of a lot. I was able to grow a thick skin and push aside the short jokes (today I think I make fun of myself more than anyone else ever did). However, I stayed under the radar. I loved photography as a kid, but put down the SLR mostly because I knew it would make me stick out (remember I was trying to stay under the radar).

12 or 13 years later I picked up a DSLR. I regret not using all those years to better my skills rather than give into the bullying.

Your friend needs to look deep within himself and find who he is and who he wants to be. He needs to decide who is more important himself or what others think. Don't get me wrong, what others think is important - especially in photography and other arts, but having the self confidense to know the difference between constructive and bullying is going to help him better himself and grow as an artist.

Hell, if he channels the feelings he gets when people make fun of him onto his photography, I bet he will get some amazing shots. That's what always pushed me to succeed. Someone told me I couldn't do it, I did it. And I did it better than anyone would expect. I had an ex tell me I'd never make anything of myself, not only did I enroll myself back in college I made damn sure I graduated with a bs with top honors. Find a way to turn the negative into a positive and you can't go wrong.

**if any of that sounds jumbled or doesn't make sense I apologize, I'm on my phone.

sm4him · Dec 13, 2012

Denon said:
I don´t know if this is relevant but I would personally show him the "Pro photographer,Cheap camera - series" from Digitalrev.com

This shows there is no such thing as a "toy camera" and it's not the camera that takes the photo, it's the photographer! And every photographer needs to start somewhere and I belive that many of us her started with a P&S.

I want that Lego camera!!

No, seriously. I want it. <leaves forum to do google search for Lego cameras...>

Mike_E · Dec 13, 2012

Ass*oles are the kindest people in the world!

Really!

No one else in the whole world even bothers to let you know before hand that they should be avoided like a plague.

So, Kid, here's the skinny; It takes everybody in the world to sail this ship we call society.

And 99% of them are just ballast.

Shrug and move along, you've got to go through the BS to get to the garden and trust me- the BS only makes the garden better.

kathyt · Dec 13, 2012

There will always be people in the world like those jackoffs. Honestly, who really cares about what someones hobbies are? What ages are we talking here? This should pass, because it sound pretty silly to me. I have never been one to really care if someone approves of my choices or not. If he enjoys shooting then he will find some balls to stick up for himself. Sometimes you have to let someone fall and then learn to get back up on their own. It is called growing up.

runnah · Dec 13, 2012

kathythorson said:
It is called growing up.

I keep running into people who are in their mid-late twenties who have yet to do this.

I blame over protective parents. They raised a generation of adults who fold quicker than a cheap umbrella anytime someone is mean or they don't get their way.

Rick58 · Dec 13, 2012

It sounds like a lot of good advice here already. Not much I could add. It's funny, we even had a photography club IN school and no one thought one way or the other about it. But then again, back then being "gay" just meant being happy. :scratch:

Luke345678 · Dec 17, 2012

Thank you everyone for the amazing comments. I showed my friends all of your replies and when a kid cracked a joke at him during Photography Class he looked at them and smiled then took their picture. You will probably see him pop up on this site in the near future.

Thanks,

-Luke