Raising BOYS!


TPF Noob!
Dec 20, 2005
Reaction score
Alabama - just moved here from Texas

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on
all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by
a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show
they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. CHILLER AND SQUIRT - put the bleach and brake fluid down and walk away slowly!

Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys
do it because:

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
Group C. Thankyouverymuch.
"Mommy, do cats always land on their feet?"

"I suppose so, baby ... why?"

"Well, I threw Loosie off the porch six times and she landed on her feet every time ... I was just wondering."

(my son at the age of four ... Loosie our cat is still living and doing well. Oh, and our porch is 8 feet off the ground)

Later that same summer:

Mom standing at the sink doing dishes ... hears noise on the porch ...

muffled: reowr .... reowr ... reowr ... screeeeeecccchhhh

Mom takes off running through the house to get outside ...

Son has cat pinned down and is mashing on her belly ...

"Honey, what are you doing??!?!?!"

"Loosie needs C-R-P mom ... they do it on er when people stop breathing."

"I know, baby, but Loosie is still breathing."

"I thought she died when I threw her off the porch again."

It's always a treat around our home ... :er: :lol:
let me share, every southern boy knows the smoke trick...

so do every southern girls who have their daddies wrapped around their finger, right nicole????

a few more.... snakes live a long time in the pocket of jeans in your clothes hamper..( experience is a great teacher...)

'possums really dont always go into a trance when picked up...even little ones have those teeth...

even if you swear by all thats holy, that the stove burner is hot...at some point, he will touch it, even looking right at you.....

anytime when he hits teenage yrs and says, " momma, your not gonna like this..." your really not gonna like that.....

and no matter how old he is, if a son says, i love you momma, you wanna cry....

( oh, and leave off the brake fluid...just the cholox will do it..)
LMAO and how about
"Mommy, I caught this fish in the lake and put him in my fish bowl"
(I go to look in his small goldfish bowl where there is a 6 inch long brim almost folding himself in half to fit in bowl)

Most reactions

New Topics