Should I be offended?

alcochran

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I need some advice, because I feel deeply hurt, but I don't know if I'm over-reacting.

One of my closest friends who is also my sister-in-law is having twins. The minute she found out she was pregnant came to me and said I want you to do maternity pics. She showed me endless picture ideas that she found and the one in particular that she wanted was of her in a lake with the sun setting behind her. I was very interested in doing them for her, even looking forward to it. I do all her other photos and photos of her daughter.

Long story short, yesterday i found on facebook that she had had the pictures done by a sister of another friend. She didn't even tell me she was having them done or give me the opportunity to be part of it with her. And she had the other photographer do the one shot in particular (the lake shot) I had told her I was most interested in doing.

I feel deeply hurt by this and I'm not sure I'm justified. I wasn't charging her for them and I don't believe the other girl did either, so it's not a monetary thing. I'm not even sure how to approach her about it.

Thoughts?
 

Braineack

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are you as good as the other person?
 

robbins.photo

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I need some advice, because I feel deeply hurt, but I don't know if I'm over-reacting.

One of my closest friends who is also my sister-in-law is having twins. The minute she found out she was pregnant came to me and said I want you to do maternity pics. She showed me endless picture ideas that she found and the one in particular that she wanted was of her in a lake with the sun setting behind her. I was very interested in doing them for her, even looking forward to it. I do all her other photos and photos of her daughter.

Long story short, yesterday i found on facebook that she had had the pictures done by a sister of another friend. She didn't even tell me she was having them done or give me the opportunity to be part of it with her. And she had the other photographer do the one shot in particular (the lake shot) I had told her I was most interested in doing.

I feel deeply hurt by this and I'm not sure I'm justified. I wasn't charging her for them and I don't believe the other girl did either, so it's not a monetary thing. I'm not even sure how to approach her about it.

Thoughts?

Thoughts.. hmm.. ok, well Pregnancy = Hormones = Good decision making powers go wonky

So ya, just be happy the little ones are healthy, don't even mention it to your sister in law an move on with your life. Frankly a set of pictures just isn't worth going to war over.
 

tirediron

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She prefers someone else's style to yours.... so what? That's why there's room for more than one photographer in the world. At the end of the day, the less business done with family, the better off everyone is!
 

robbins.photo

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She prefers someone else's style to yours.... so what? That's why there's room for more than one photographer in the world.

There is? Crap. I only took up photography so I could get in on that whole "there can be only one" deal and start cutting people's heads off in parking lots.
 

table1349

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You have two choices here.

1. Sell you camera gear and take up knitting.

2. Buy thicker skin.

It's just the nature of the game as well as life.
 

snerd

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By all means, be offended. It seems to be the National past time nowadays............ someone finding something to be offended about. Tirediron is right, family can only make matters worse.
 

480sparky

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By all means, be offended. It is a right guaranteed by a Contitutional Amendment............ someone finding something to be offended about. .............

Fify.
 

tecboy

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Happened to me before. There was one girl wanted me to shoot 12 girls dressed up as Walt Disney Princesses. Another girl found another photographer, and I got knocked out.

It happens. Just forget about it and move on.
 
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vintagesnaps

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Sometimes you just can't help how you feel, and it's understandable when you were planning something that you thought would be special. When it comes down to it I think it's a matter of trying to keep it in perspective (sometimes easier said than done) - down the road will it be quite so important? or just one of many pictures she'll have of baby showers and birthdays and family times together with the twins.

I suppose it might be better to mention you saw on FB that she had a photo done at the lake rather than let it keep bothering you, that you wondered if she'd still need you to do a maternity picture. Maybe there was some reason or circumstances that she did this with the friend's sister, who knows.

Maybe later on you'll be able to just take pictures of the twins at family get-togethers etc. that she'll enjoy and that you'll enjoy doing. It can be better for a family member to find an objective professional to hire and keep your relationship as friends.
 

sm4him

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She prefers someone else's style to yours.... so what? That's why there's room for more than one photographer in the world. At the end of the day, the less business done with family, the better off everyone is!

OR, there was some OTHER reason she felt compelled to go with the other friend's sister. Since she didn't tell you, you have no idea what the story is or why she chose to have the pictures done by someone else. It could be as simple as, they were all together, WITH camera equipment, and the friend said, hey why don't we just do some maternity shots, and she didn't feel like she could say no.

Or, she likes their photography better. :D

You could always ASK, if you just had to know..."Hey, I saw that you'd had Person X do those maternity pictures for you. Glad you got them done, but kinda wondered if there was a reason you had them do it instead of me?"
Just be careful here--some of the best advice my daddy ever gave me was "Don't ask questions you don't REALLY want to know the answer to."

But really: Life is short. WAY too short to care who takes which pictures. She's your closest friend, AND your sister-in-law, just enjoy every minute you have with her and don't sweat ANY of the rest of it. It doesn't matter--all that matters is relationship, really.
 

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