OK, i'm going to give you my opinion and you can take it or leave it for all I care.
I think it's a good idea, but it was executed poorly. Even though you say it's not ok to edit, this one just has too much potential. I'm going to go over everything I did anyway.
You cranked the dials too far, it's glow in the dark, too contrasty, and too bright. The busy background distracts from the subject, and there's bad separation from the pass filters and the sunlight that you used as a kicker, even though he didn't need one. The illustration of his body is great, but the background not so much.
This would have been better executed if you had used your speedlight as a key light at camera right, 45 degrees left of your subject's chest for depth, then the sky would have provided appropriate fill and the direct light of the sun could be your kicker. Use gels as needed for color balancing. You underexpose the background a stop and a half and you're golden.
OK, so I grabbed both the original and the wonky one, stacked the layers, changed the opacity to where the background looked more natural. I than brought the levels down to about a 2 stops darker. I used a mask to erase the cowboy out of it for separation. Now, the sun as the kicker looks intentional for separation purposes. I than dodges, burned, and sponged the cowboy to where he looked more healthy and flattened the image. I than did a half-assed job of burning the glow in the dark parts so it was less obvious. This took all of about 5 minutes because i was fiddling around with other solutions.
With this, the cowboy is now the center of attention and is obvious. The background is almost non-issue (the glow-in-the-dark-background is still hot) and the cowboy looks more badass than ever. This is far from perfect, but it kind of illustrates what I meant with the lights, and with real time in PS, this could be alot better, but could not replace strobes.
Just may opinion though, and like I said, you can take it or leave it, it's up to you.
BY THE WAY, THIS DOES NOT MEAN ANYONE ELSE CAN CHOP UP THIS IMAGE WITHOUT THIS GUY'S PERMISSION. I just had an idea and had to illustrate it.