Artemis
Just Punked Himself
- Joined
- May 16, 2004
- Messages
- 5,313
- Reaction score
- 43
- Location
- England! w000t!
- Website
- www.falcon-eye.co.uk
- Can others edit my Photos
- Photos NOT OK to edit
Well...I call upon your help again my friends, and I apologise whole hartedly...but It is once again needed.
I have started writing...a small little story, and...as another testiment to how much I trust and appreciate you guys...id like you to read and correct me on it.
I dont think ive ever really posted one on a forum before...and its kinda scary cause you guys are gonna see what an idiot I am...but anyways.
Id like you to correct/guid/help me ANYWHERE you see something that you feels requires this attention.
Please dont feel that if you say something...I will be offended because that simply isnt true....and if you notice something...that you think would go a little better if I said it like "Bla" instead of "Bleh" then please let me know, then I probably will change it.
Thanks in advanced
This is what I have so far...
R. Tiberius waited outside the entrance to detectives office. As he had been instructed to. Tiberius was rather tall, with a perfectly shaven, clean face.
He had strong features, and his head was almost perfectly symmetrical, with even details down to his blonde hair having been brushed in exactly the same way either side. Tibiris, had a seemingly unstoppable passion for looking to either side, then ahead of him, about every 3 seconds.
Tiberius was the latest in his class, made to resemble humans so precisely that even the newest Real robots as they were referred to would have trouble telling him apart, until he spoke.
[font="]The detective, as Tiberius knew all to well, would not take too long, and would soon be rushing out, complaining that yet another person had gotten in his way when he wasnt meant to.
[/font][font="]Thanks for reading
[/font]
I have started writing...a small little story, and...as another testiment to how much I trust and appreciate you guys...id like you to read and correct me on it.
I dont think ive ever really posted one on a forum before...and its kinda scary cause you guys are gonna see what an idiot I am...but anyways.
Id like you to correct/guid/help me ANYWHERE you see something that you feels requires this attention.
Please dont feel that if you say something...I will be offended because that simply isnt true....and if you notice something...that you think would go a little better if I said it like "Bla" instead of "Bleh" then please let me know, then I probably will change it.
Thanks in advanced
This is what I have so far...
R. Tiberius waited outside the entrance to detectives office. As he had been instructed to. Tiberius was rather tall, with a perfectly shaven, clean face.
He had strong features, and his head was almost perfectly symmetrical, with even details down to his blonde hair having been brushed in exactly the same way either side. Tibiris, had a seemingly unstoppable passion for looking to either side, then ahead of him, about every 3 seconds.
Tiberius was the latest in his class, made to resemble humans so precisely that even the newest Real robots as they were referred to would have trouble telling him apart, until he spoke.
[font="]The detective, as Tiberius knew all to well, would not take too long, and would soon be rushing out, complaining that yet another person had gotten in his way when he wasnt meant to.
[/font][font="]Thanks for reading
[/font]