On the first portrait, the shadow on the far cheek is too off colored to be a shadow. I like the catch lights in the eyes. I like the pose. I can see a conscious effort to compliment the the nose's features and you are one left nostril from accomplishing it completely.
On the second portrait, the only thing missing is lighting technique. There's no kicker lights. You have the model. You have the pose. You have the standard 105mm portrait lense. You have a driving determination--You have it all, Bobman.