Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by nitefly, Dec 19, 2006.

  1. nitefly

    nitefly TPF Noob!

    Jan 3, 2006
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    Birmingham, UK

    7 am- Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!

    8 am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

    9 am- Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

    Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!

    2 pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

    3 pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

    4 pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

    6 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

    7 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

    8 pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

    9 pm- Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!

    11 pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!


    Day 183 of my captivity...

    My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

    The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
    satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

    Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
    Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
    they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the
    top of the stairs.

    In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
    induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their

    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to
    make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
    hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
    kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
    I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I
    could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard
    that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies."
    Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
    The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
    obviously a half-wit.

    The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with
    them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move.
    Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
    But I can wait.

  2. midget patrol

    midget patrol TPF Noob!

    Apr 14, 2006
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    Fairfax, VA
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  3. Nurd

    Nurd TPF Noob!

    Oct 1, 2006
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    Houston, TX
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    Thats awesome lol. Cats are are dogs though. lol

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