Family of Me - Ben Folds
I'll humbly accept my award now. I'd like it to be a gold (solid, no plated junk) trophy of at least 48" in height, and I'd like it to weigh more than me (150lbs sounds good). And I'd like it to be a thread of its own, 'Trenton's Award' and I'd like it to be a sticky thread, so no matter how many people choose to not post and offer their congratulations, I'll still be hovering at the top. And I want $250,000 a year for 10 years and then $100,000 a year for the rest of my lifetime and for good measure, a cancer research facility named after me.