Thoughts on significant other modeling nude

[DSPhotography]

Before we met, my girlfriend had done all sorts of modeling in the past; glamour, fashion, nude, budoir, etc. Both paid shoots as well as trade. Once she got her software programming job a few years ago, she stopped doing paid shoots and just stuck with the occasional trade shoot in her spare time. The last shoot she did was a couple months before we met/started sating in May (and was a clothed shoot). Yesterday she contacted a photographer she's worked with in the past, inquiring about shooting with him soon. Now while it's not ALL he shoots, the majority of this guys work is nude/budoir (lingerie/semi-nude/nude in "suggestive" poses), so there's a good chance that's what he'll want to shoot and I'm honestly not comfortable with that (her doing nude shoots in general, not just specifically this photographer). I know she's done nudes in the past, but she was also single when she did them.

Whenever I've done nude shoots I've always made sure that if the model had a significant other, that that person was also comfortable with them modeling nude. I've also made it a point to not shoot nude models when I am in a relationship so as to keep my sig. other from being uncomfortable. It's all out of respect for mine and/or others' relationships.

So my question is, how would you feel about your significant other modeling nude? And if you're like me (uncomfortable with it) how would you approach it with them?

*Also, if this is in the wrong forum feel free to move it.

 

[Peeb]

I would not like it.

Both emotionally and intellectually I object to displaying someone as a piece of meat.

 

[gr8five]

I wouldn't like it either with the information you've given, Etc: She called him, is it a paid shoot, does she just like posing nude, are you ready for her to ignore your wishes, just thoughts I might have.

 

[runnah]

Depends on what is going to be done with the photos. Respectable fashion stuff, sure. Soft core porn, big no.

But at the end of the day she is free to make her own choices, you can voice your opinion, but you are not her keeper.

 

[Derrel]

What does your Deed of Bodily Ownership to her say? Is she allowed to model nude, according to the terms of your ownership?

 

[DSPhotography]

Not a paid shoot and I have since found out that he contacted her, not her him. I don't know exactly what type of photos he's wanting to take, just that from what I've seen, he likes the more suggestive posing type stuff.

And derrel, I appreciate you ignoring the part of my post wherein I said I also wouldn't do any type of photography that made my significant other uncomfortable. It has nothing to do with "ownership" and everything to do with mutually respecting each other. Would you still send dick pics to someone of your significant other didn't like it or would you say "**** your feelings, it's my body."? She can do whatever she wants just as I can do whatever I want, however, we take each others thoughts and feelings on things into consideration.

 

[runnah]

What does your Deed of Bodily Ownership to her say? Is she allowed to model nude, according to the terms of your ownership?

I looked at mine but sadly I think I voided the warranty.

 

[table1349]

What does your Deed of Bodily Ownership to her say? Is she allowed to model nude, according to the terms of your ownership?

I looked at mine but sadly I think I voided the warranty.

Well at least the warranty didn't void YOU!

 

[Derrel]

Sorry, but as I see it, this has everything to do with your feelings of "ownership" of your significant other. You want to control what she does, so you do not feel threatened. Of course, you're so close to it you cannot see that. But hey, whatever...naked bodies freak some people out...and so do independent women who make choices about their own bodies...that freaks a lot of men out as well. The biblical-era ideal of a woman who will do whatever it takes to make sure her man is never "uncomfortable" with anything she does is an old concept. Feel free to reply, but I'm done discussing your hang-ups, fears, and insecurities. I understand that by posting this topic that you are looking for others to help you achieve some sense validation of your feelings. Maybe you'll find some people here who'll help you with your feelings and who will agree with your POV about what she can and cannot do so you do not feel threatened or hurt or whatever it is you are feeling. I just am not willing to do that.

 

[table1349]

No qualms at all, sorry. From day one the wife and I have had a relationship built on mutual trust.

 

[TreeofLifeStairs]

First off let me say that I agree that there should be a mutual respect in a relationship. If something bothers you and you voice it she then has the choice to do something that she knows will bother you or lay aside her freedoms to be kind and respectful of you. I don't see it being a matter of control though. The flip side of this is two fold. One, you guys aren't married so there is a level of commitment to each other that isn't there yet. I don't mean any offense, you just can't expect a girlfriend/boyfriend to be as committed the way a spouse is (that's the idea at least). Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, is that she did this before you guys started dating. For the most part you've got to expect that things people do before you date gets carried into the relationship. It's a package deal kind of thing.
My last thought is if there is any chance that she could be doing this shoot for you? My wife did a boudoir shoot as a gift for me for our last anniversary.

 

[DSPhotography]

Sorry, but as I see it, this has everything to do with your feelings of "ownership" of your significant other. You want to control what she does, so you do not feel threatened. Of course, you're so close to it you cannot see that. But hey, whatever...naked bodies freak some people out...and so do independent women who make choices about their own bodies...that freaks a lot of men out as well. The biblical-era ideal of a woman who will do whatever it takes to make sure her man is never "uncomfortable" with anything she does is an old concept. Feel free to reply, but I'm done discussing your hang-ups, fears, and insecurities. I understand that by posting this topic that you are looking for others to help you achieve some sense validation of your feelings. Maybe you'll find some people here who'll help you with your feelings and who will agree with your POV about what she can and cannot do so you do not feel threatened or hurt or whatever it is you are feeling. I just am not willing to do that.

Yeah we'll just agree to disagree. You've gotten the wrong impression about me, my views towards women and my reasons for posting. I'm not looking for validation, I was honestly just curious how other people would approach the situation if they felt the same. I elected people to have different opinions, to each their own. It's not that you disagree, it's that I didn't care for the way you immediately assumed I must be some bible-thumping "traditional marriage, woman obeys the man", controlling person. Communication is key, and if something I might do would make my significant other uncomfortable for any reason, I'd want them to bring it up. I used to be in a fire performance troupe and have been considering getting back into it. One of the things I did was breathing fire, and I asked my girlfriend how she felt about me breathing again. She told me it made her a little uneasy and because of that, I won't do that if/when I rejoin the group. I don't feel like she "owns" me or my body, but I respect her opinion as a person who's a major part of my life. Reply, don't reply, it's whatevs. You've your opinion and I mine.

 

[dennybeall]

Sure, she's free to do what she wants and there is buckets of mutual respect and all but that has nothing to do with me not liking it one dang bit.
My approach would be simple, "Here's a bus ticket. Watch out the door doesn't hit you in the butt on your way out."

 

[PropilotBW]

It appears you've figured out that your answer isn't here on The Photo Forum.

 

[DSPhotography]

First off let me say that I agree that there should be a mutual respect in a relationship. If something bothers you and you voice it she then has the choice to do something that she knows will bother you or lay aside her freedoms to be kind and respectful of you. I don't see it being a matter of control though. The flip side of this is two fold. One, you guys aren't married so there is a level of commitment to each other that isn't there yet. I don't mean any offense, you just can't expect a girlfriend/boyfriend to be as committed the way a spouse is (that's the idea at least). Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, is that she did this before you guys started dating. For the most part you've got to expect that things people do before you date gets carried into the relationship. It's a package deal kind of thing.
My last thought is if there is any chance that she could be doing this shoot for you? My wife did a boudoir shoot as a gift for me for our last anniversary.

Considering she told me about it and invited me to come with, I doubt that. Plus, I dont know that that's the type of photos he wants to shoot. Basically, when this came up it triggered me realising that I'm not really crazy about her doing nude shoots. I have no idea of she even has any intentions of doing nude shoots now that she is with someone, but I'd rather broach the subject now instead of waiting until it's already "set up". Also, while we're not married yet, it's been discussed a good bit to the point that we consider ourselves "married without the paperwork" lol.

My whole purpose for posting this was really just for opinions on bringing it up since at the time I originally posted it, I was bouncing around different thoughts and thought maybe some outside ideas might help. I've since bounced my thoughts off of a few female friends of mine and got some good input.