two portraits

[echoyjeff222]

Hi all,

Our photography club had an outing this last weekend for portraits. I was hoping for some feedback on these two that I shot.

On #1, I was hoping for feedback on the PP. I like simple, clean edits, so I was going for that kind of feel.

On #2, I was hoping for feedback on the conversion and crop.

General comments are also welcome to help me improve in the future!

Thanks.

#1:

IMG_0646-2 by Jeffrey Lee, on Flickr

#2:

IMG_0764final by Jeffrey Lee, on Flickr

 

[snowbear]

I like these.
For number one: I'm not sure about the white balance - it might a bit cool. I would also clone out the white button as it pulls my attention away from everything else.

 

[crimbfighter]

I also like these. In #1 I do wish the crop put her more to the left of the frame instead of the right. With her posture and the way her face is turned, it feels like she is about to walk off the photo to the right.

I really like #2. Very moody and contrasty.

 

[Granddad]

I like them, too. I can't comment on the PP because I can't see the full size version on Flickr as you have the page settings as private and my eyes aren't good enough. I agree with Crimbfighter and Snowbear about their comments.

#1 I'd also say as a general comment on the pose that it looks like she's pointing at her arm ("I've got a mosquito bite right here...") and that pulls my eye away from her (very pretty) face.

I'm not a conversion expert for #2 but it looks good to me and the crop works.

 

[Derrel]

#1 was a bit too dull-looking, so I juiced the contrast a bit and hit the eyes with a good shot with the Iris Enhance tool. However on a tiny little file like this, it's hardly noticeable. I though she was positioned a bit too far off to the right hand side. The issue I had with the original framing and pose was that with her head placement being so high and off to the right of the frame's centerline, the image felt both top-heavy and off-balance. I do like the OOF foreground bokeh items, although many "westerners" loathe OOF foreground items.

Here's how I cropped it, striving for a more balanced feel, with less visual tension. The frame is still very "tall and skinny", which makes her appear that way too, which I think might be a good way to render this lovely young woman.

( Here's my crop, which I think is better balanced than the original very tall frame.) I wish there were MORE space for her to look into, but there wasn't much to work with in terms of excess area..

My theory behind this crop was this: by cropping a bit off the bottom, it places her ARM lower toward the bottom of the frame, which provides a form of visual "ballast" to the shot--which is needed because you originally had her head high up in the frame, and off to the right hand side, and with her face pointed out of the frame to the short side, her backward eye gaze is not enough to counteract her facial direction, and off-center placement.

The man--lovely Rembrandt lighting pattern, buit the shadowed side is too dark...when I looked at it in LR, the shadow side had a whole bunch of ugly splotches...maybe that's why you burned it down so hard on the right hand side/?

 

[echoyjeff222]

Interesting thoughts, thanks everyone.

Re the crop: The original file has much more space, actually. Funnily enough, I chose this crop to give that "tension" that you guys are picking up on. I kind of liked it. Here's a re-edit, though, with more room on the right. Still undecided on which one I like more.

Re darrel: I really like the idea of lowering the arm, but I also really like the foreground framing. I'm not keen on the contrast, though. It's a little too harsh for me, esp. for a girl. But here's a re-edit with a slight boost in contrast.

I removed the button as well, but I am not too sure I like it. It seems a bit off with no button? Maybe it's just because I saw it so many times with the button. ??

And re the man. Yeah, there were some scars on the right, so the shadowing nicely covered them up.

re-edit by Jeffrey Lee, on Flickr

 

[Derrel]

I didn't mean scars on the man's face...I mean in the background...odd marks.

The re-crop you did is good. I agree...that silver-colored button was part of the jeans...it does look a bit odd with no visible button.

 

[echoyjeff222]

great catch - it was the yellow slider in the b&w mix in lightroom that made those marks. thanks! thank goodness for the history button in LR to backtrack.

are you talking about the face that is too dark, or the background? I lightened up the face a bit.

IMG_0764 by Jeffrey Lee, on Flickr