Wedding Guest Photographer's Etiquette Help

[achua00]

Hello all. In March I attended a close friend's wedding. She knew that I was starting a photography business and she volunteered and said, you can use images from my wedding for your portfolio. Her hired wedding photographer has not given her images from her wedding yet and barely any of her friends from the wedding posted any images on Facebook. (I don't think there are any). On Wed. I asked her if I could still post the images (double checking on my part) on my website and also on FB & she said "yes". This morning I get a call and she had another friend text her to tell her that I should have waited until her main photographer was finished with her photos before any of her guests can post. I asked if it was in her contract and she said "no".

Her friend has a boyfriend who is a wedding photographer and apparently MY friend turned him down and didn't hire him as her wedding photog. So it's the girlfriend of this photographer that told her this information. My friend said she read online that there's this guest etiquette but I have never heard of such a thing and after googling nothing came up in my searches.
At this point should I untag her? She said "just don't post anymore images" and I said "I don't have that much to post because I was your "GUEST!" Any advice?
Obviously I am just starting out and my blog is so new and I felt like if my friend said to use the images I'm going to use them...but her friend is telling her otherwise.​

 

[Buckster]

Your friend, the bride, doesn't need any extra drama in her life, and neither do you. Neither do you want to do something here that might strain your friendship - it's just not worth it.

Do whatever she says regarding this issue, and put it behind you. When the time comes, you can put all the photos up, and in the meantime, it's not going to break your leg to wait a while to put them online.

 

[jwbryson1]

Your friend, the bride, doesn't need any extra drama in her life, and neither do you. Neither do you want to do something here that might strain your friendship - it's just not worth it.

Do whatever she says regarding this issue, and put it behind you. When the time comes, you can put all the photos up, and in the meantime, it's not going to break your leg to wait a while to put them online.

Good advice. Sometimes you don't have to figure out the "technically correct" answer to do the right thing. Good job Buckster.

 

[MReid]

Well there is no rule about guests posting pictures, they normally just post away.
Now if your friend has asked you not to post anymore then don't post anymore.

Who cares what a friend of a friend of a friend thinks or says. As Buckster said, proceed per what your friend the bride says....but yeah there are no unspoken rules restricting friends of the bride from posting pictures before the pro.
What if the pro takes 6 months?

 

[Robin Usagani]

IMO, posting a wedding on your BLOG, FACEBOOK business page, or website where you were NOT the hired photographer is NOT cool. Go ahead and post it on facebook to share with your friends... but once you put it on your blog, website, etc.. you are crossing the line IMO. Post it on facebook without signature or watermark.

I will give you an example. Lets say photographer A was hired to do a famous couple wedding. You attended as a guest and post photos from the wedding as if you were the hired photographer. How do you feel if you were photographer A?

 

[achua00]

I appreciate everyone's comments. This is nice and helpful. I DID mention on my blog that I was clearly a "guest photographer" and that she was my friend. She has not told me to remove my blog, she just said please don't post more pics.

 

[Buckster]

IMO, posting a wedding on your BLOG, FACEBOOK business page, or website where you were NOT the hired photographer is NOT cool. Go ahead and post it on facebook to share with your friends... but once you put it on your blog, website, etc.. you are crossing the line IMO. Post it on facebook without signature or watermark.

I will give you an example. Lets say photographer A was hired to do a famous couple wedding. You attended as a guest and post photos from the wedding as if you were the hired photographer. How do you feel if you were photographer A?

Like a dumbass for not putting something in the contract that protected me from that sort of thing, if it's really important to me.

"Crossing the line..." LOL! The line ends at the signature line of your contract. If it ain't in there, too bad for you.

 

[DiskoJoe]

Your friend was nice and told you could do this. So you be nice and do what she asks. Then post them later after she has finished all her business with the main photog. I would have talked to them about this as well to see if they cared. Dont step on pros toes. Plus you could have networked with them which you obviously did not. Networking is key to jobs like this. They might have thrown you a bone for a job they did not want or have time for.

 

[Shutter Nutter]

I've never come across anyone saying anything like this before. What would it have to do with me (as a main wedding photographer) if other people want to put photographs they have taken, online or anywhere else?

The main photographer will (at least should have) been paid before the event. The only reason they might want to complain is if they think they might miss out on any sales of prints after the event, but that'll only happen if the guest's photos are as good or better, in which case it's tough.

If your friend (the bride) is feeling uncomfortable then do her a favour and do what she asks as she did you a favour in the first place, but not because some jumped up, boyfriend of a friend of a friend photographer thinks there's some 'un-written rule'. Utter tosh!

 

[ChristianGrattan]

I understand that you want to get your work out there, and good for you for showing initiative.

I am sorry that the bride's friends BF didn't get the gig. The thing for the friend to do is ASK THE BRIDE why she made the choice. That is an appropriate business thing to do. People don't hire me all the time. I like to know why. For some I am too expensive. I am OK with that. I couldn't afford me either. For others it is that they don't like my style, personality, or my shoes. Who knows until you ask. Then you see if the feedback is useful. Incorporate it if it is.

That said. This friend is not really a constructive friend. She is causing a lot of drama. And frankly I am through with her shenanigans.

The bottom line is that you need pictures. I say find 4 photographers in your area that are doing well as what you want to be doing them and offer to help them for free. PESTER them until they let you around. Eventually you will get a ton of pics. An added benefit is that when you are good enough they will send business your way. In the meantime forget all of this and get to calling pros.

Good luck.

 

[TCampbell]

Wow - this sounds like a script from a soap opera.

I do wonder where this modern etiquette comes from. I've carefully checked my "Miss Manners" books and it's not in there -- clearly Miss Manners is so "last century".

The short answer: Don't ruin your friendship over this.

But... if it makes you feel any better, there is no such etiquette. Your friend's friend's boyfriend/photographer (so you're practically siblings) is whacked in the head.

A wedding day is NOT about the photographer. It's a very exciting day in the life of the bride & groom. Sharing the photos from the event is part of that excitement. It's tragic that this idiot photographer (who wasn't even THE photographer) is ruining it for everyone by brainwashing the bride into believing she's breaching some etiquette if she lets anyone show their photos from the event.

 

[Derrel]

IMO, posting a wedding on your BLOG, FACEBOOK business page, or website where you were NOT the hired photographer is NOT cool. Go ahead and post it on facebook to share with your friends... but once you put it on your blog, website, etc.. you are crossing the line IMO. Post it on facebook without signature or watermark.

I will give you an example. Lets say photographer A was hired to do a famous couple wedding. You attended as a guest and post photos from the wedding as if you were the hired photographer. How do you feel if you were photographer A?

Who cares. If you're ANY good at ALL as a shooter, then YOUR images will knock the socks off of those shot by the guests and Uncle Bob and Aunt Mildred. This isn't 1975 any longer...at a wedding there are often 50 to 100 cameras and cell phone cameras taking images...to say that it is uncool to post the images? I don't agree with that....that smacks of severe insecurity. And, as a private, third party, WTF would I allow somebody ELSE to control where and how and WHEN "my images" are to be shown or displayed??? Seriously man...think it through a bit.

 

[davisphotos]

As a full time wedding pro, I really don't care if the guests post photos before I do, they just make mine look better when I do post them! However, I have met with couples that were adamant that they wanted my photos to be the first ones posted on FaceBook, and they didn't want guests posting pictures of the ceremony even before the reception started. They also don't want to have hundreds of unflattering photos taken by guests posted.

In any case, if your friend has asked you not to post any more photos, don't post any more photos. It's as easy as that. Think of them as a client-if you have a client that asks for you not to post any more photos of their wedding, then it would be in your best interest to follow their wishes. I understand that when you are just starting out you need to get images for a portfolio, but it is definitely in your best interest to not start off your business with a squabble with a friend. Just let it go.

 

[rub]

As stated above, there is no "etiquette" for a guest, other than not waering white, drinking till you puke, or making out with someone from the wedding party or their family on the dance floor

As for the photos, post away, withing reason and the brides wishes. Make it clear that you were a guest, and even link to the official photographer if you feel so obliged.

 

[Robin Usagani]

IMO, posting a wedding on your BLOG, FACEBOOK business page, or website where you were NOT the hired photographer is NOT cool. Go ahead and post it on facebook to share with your friends... but once you put it on your blog, website, etc.. you are crossing the line IMO. Post it on facebook without signature or watermark.

I will give you an example. Lets say photographer A was hired to do a famous couple wedding. You attended as a guest and post photos from the wedding as if you were the hired photographer. How do you feel if you were photographer A?

Who cares. If you're ANY good at ALL as a shooter, then YOUR images will knock the socks off of those shot by the guests and Uncle Bob and Aunt Mildred. This isn't 1975 any longer...at a wedding there are often 50 to 100 cameras and cell phone cameras taking images...to say that it is uncool to post the images? I don't agree with that....that smacks of severe insecurity. And, as a private, third party, WTF would I allow somebody ELSE to control where and how and WHEN "my images" are to be shown or displayed??? Seriously man...think it through a bit.

You completely missed my point. You think it is cool if I shoot a wedding and in a few days after that I see someone else posted photos with watermark all over it? People will start thinking that is YOUR work. It is not about the rules.. there is no rule. It is about common sense and do what is right. I will be pissed if I was the hired photographer and I see someone posted photos from the wedding on B&G facebook with "Precious Moment Photography" watermark on it with cheesy selective coloring.