Canon 30D with kit lens
2 2gig cards
spare battery from sterlingtek (even though you said
B&H only, its a 10 dollar battery)
50mm 1.8
sigma 70-300 apo DG macro
possibly the 580EX speedlight
I'd also consider not getting the kitlens and instead getting a faster lens in that range (f/4 or faster).
the 50mm 1.8 will do wonders for photographing your kids in low light, especially if you dont use the flash. if you enjoy using the flash (buying the 580EX) than this is just a cheap lens with outstanding quality optics.
The 70-300 APO isn't the best lens, but at 200 dollars it is very affordable for what it does. It has great range and at 300mm in macro mode (via switch) it can produce 1:2 magnification. The downside is its on the slow side (which isn't a huge deal, since macro you just grap the tripod, and you probably wont be using 300mm unless photographing your kids playing outside, hopefully in bright sun).
As for bags, you basically need to decide on backpack or not. Backpacks are nice if you are hiking, but bad for most everything else, especially being able to get your camera out quickly should an opportune shot arise (animal in the wild). I had a backpack and didnt like it, so a shoulder bag took its place. The slingshot is a great compromise and lets your get to your camera very easily.
For photo editing software, if you are trying to save a buck GIMP is a great choice, since it is basically free photoshop.
www.gimp.org
if you are doing landscapes with foliage, a circular polarizer may be a good choice. I recommend looking through all the lenses you have or want to get and figuring out which has the largest diameter filter thread, and buy your filters in that size. Then buy the generic step up rings (5 or 6 bucks each) for the smaller lenses so you only need to buy one filter.
All around I think that will get you plenty to start out.
