what would your response be to this email

Railphotog · Jan 5, 2013

Many years ago when I did part time wedding photography, two acquaintances who inquired about me doing their weddings came back and said they were going to have a friend or relative do the photography instead. I never thought much about it until I ran into them some time later (separately), and both said the wished they had hired me, as their photographers screwed up the photos. Guess they got what they paid for!

Mully · Jan 5, 2013

You can not win at everything so just be gracious and wish them well because they may recommend you to someone else that has the budget.

480sparky · Jan 5, 2013

Two things you DO NOT want to respond with:

"Your 'friend' is not a professional.... I am! You must hire me!"

And

"You'll be sooooorrrryyyyy!"

Bow out, but with grace, courtesy and professionalism.

"Dear ________,

I wish to express my appreciation for you considering me as your primary wedding photographer. Many of the things we have discussed about your Special Day sound fun and exciting. I fully understand that budgets play a huge role in today's weddings. I wish you a very happy and wondrous day, and hope the memories will last forever. Should you ever need my services in the future, I'll be happy to help.

Sincerely, ______ _____________"

Then move on to greener pastures.

Now, count your blessings as you don't have to worry about collecting from a customer who can't pay you.

rlemert · Jan 5, 2013

Helen B said:
... and add how refreshing it is to see that there is at least one couple in the world who have a sane and sensible approach to wedding expenses, and who don't feel they have to follow the herd.

While I agree that adding this to your response would be tacky and unprofessional, the sentiment it reflects is very valid. Not all of us think our wedding should be some grand fairy-tale event that needs to cost thousands of dollars.

My wife and I got married in the county courthouse. There were six guests present - my wife's mother and grandmother, and two couples we knew from school. The only photo from the event that I remember is the one my mother-in-law took, and that's mostly because she has it framed at her house. We still have our memories of the event, though, even without any pictures. And we've been married 33 years.

pixmedic · Jan 5, 2013

ah yes...fond memories.
we recently had this exact thing happen with a co-worker of mine. we offered to do her wedding at a very discounted rate since I worked with her, met with her about it, and in the end she decided to go with a "friend with a camera".
we thanked her for her consideration, and said she could call us anytime she needed photography work done.
her "friends" pictures turned out horrible. WB way off, underexposed, and a LOT of OOF. I never said anything to my coworker about her pictures. there just isn't any point in it. theres nothing I feel i could say that would not seem like I was rubbing her nose in it. so I just let it ride, and hope the next time she needs pictures done she will call.

jhodges10 · Jan 5, 2013

I'd do the bow out graciously thing then tell them about TPF so heir friend can get some good tips. The friend is bound to come across some of the "for god's sake you'll ruin your friends wedding" threads that are abundant here. Maybe it'll scare the friend straight and you'll get the job after all.

Buckster · Jan 5, 2013

Luckily, we don't even have to consider the possibility that the friend is a decent photographer who will do as well or better than anyone here. We can obviously make that concrete conclusion even without seeing their work or knowing anything about them. It just could NEVER happen that they're anything but a Best Buy noob without a clue.

amolitor · Jan 5, 2013

Buckster said:
Luckily, we don't even have to consider the possibility that the friend is a decent photographer who will do as well or better than anyone here. We can obviously make that concrete conclusion even without seeing their work or knowing anything about them. It just could NEVER happen that they're anything but a Best Buy noob without a clue.

The main question is whether this knowledge, received from a higher power we all agree, was engraved on tablets of GOLD, or on tablets of DIAMOND, and over that question much blood must be shed.

Robin_Usagani · Jan 5, 2013

We are missing the backstory. Obviously OP already sent at least one email before OP got that response.

o hey tyler · Jan 5, 2013

Robin_Usagani said:
We are missing the backstory. Obviously OP already sent at least one email before OP got that response.

Atomic facepalm.

unpopular · Jan 5, 2013

I didn't have or want a photographer at my wedding. We pretty much did this, only everyone had cameras. We not only couldn't afford it, really, the only photographer I trusted was booked.

So yeah, it's not important to everyone; some other person might have been disappointed, but settled for someone else. For us, it was "meh, oh well, I don't want to deal with anyone else, we just won't have a photographer." Don't sweat it, if you feel compelled to respond it's likely because your feelers got hurt. It doesn't make any difference to you the drama this person might create by assigning a family member the roll of "chief photographer", or the poor quality they may (but may not) receive in the end. It's not your wedding.

I think one thing you can do is figure out some way to market to these people. Obviously there is a demand as we're hearing more and more of this sort of thing.

Robin_Usagani · Jan 5, 2013

Why is that? If i have to guess, OP probably responded to an ad looking for CHEAP wedding photography. Cheap is a relative term. OP probably gave them a good deal but it is still too expensive. Some people just dont value wedding photography as much as some people. You cant change their mind.

o hey tyler said:
Robin_Usagani said:

We are missing the backstory. Obviously OP already sent at least one email before OP got that response.

Click to expand...

Atomic facepalm.

o hey tyler · Jan 5, 2013

Robin_Usagani said:
Why is that? If i have to guess, OP probably responded to an ad looking for CHEAP wedding photography. Cheap is a relative term. OP probably gave them a good deal but it is still too expensive. Some people just dont value wedding photography as much as some people. You cant change their mind.

She's not looking to change their mind, she's wondering how to respond. Backstory is irrelevant and has no bearing on how you respond to a client. It doesn't matter if it was a $500 wedding deal or a $4000 wedding deal. You're reading way too far into this. Maybe if you're lucky, the OP might give you her full life story and dossier though... If you're that interested in the backstory. ;-)

dmunsie · Jan 5, 2013

I disagree about not saying something to let her know she is probably making a mistake. But the written words to do so, that's the hard part. Perhaps a soft nudge added to the Sparky's post would be appropriate?

"Dear ________,

I wish to express my appreciation for you considering me as your primary wedding photographer. Many of the things we have discussed about your Special Day sound fun and exciting. I fully understand that budgets play a huge role in today's weddings. I wish you a very happy and wondrous day, and hope the memories and especially the resulting photographs, will last a lifetime. Should you ever need my services in the future, I'll be happy to help.

Sincerely, ______ _____________"