Male Dominance

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by karissa, Mar 18, 2004.

  1. karissa

    karissa The Untitled

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    Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and
    says, "I want the men to make two lines. One for the
    men that dominated their women on earth and the other
    for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I
    want all the women to go with St. Peter."

    Said and done, the next time God looked, the women are
    gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that
    were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in
    the line of men that dominated their women, there was only
    one man.

    God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of
    yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all
    whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons
    that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell
    them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

    And the man replied, "I don't know. My wife told me to
    stand here."
     
  2. Goofup

    Goofup TPF Noob!

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    You just love to stir things up, don't you?

    Ok, might as well feed the fire:

    Q: How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
    A: None. It should already be open by the time she brings it to you.
     
  3. Darfion

    Darfion Soapbox guru...

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    One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.

    Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate.

    Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit.

    Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?"

    The man says, "Yep, sure do."

    Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?"

    The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

    Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?"

    "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."
     
  4. Darfion

    Darfion Soapbox guru...

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    How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?
    >
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    Don't know. Its never been done.
     
  5. karissa

    karissa The Untitled

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    bwahahahaha! Oh.. thats a good one!

    Edit: Ok, the one about satin because you posted in the time it too me to type that.
     
  6. Darfion

    Darfion Soapbox guru...

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    ]

    Sarcasm at its worst :D
     
  7. Darfion

    Darfion Soapbox guru...

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    Q) Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes?











    A) Toes Go In First.
     
  8. Darfion

    Darfion Soapbox guru...

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    Q) Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes?











    A) Toes Go In First.
     
  9. markc

    markc TPF Noob!

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    Hehe. Oh the irony of double-posting a blonde joke.
     
  10. karissa

    karissa The Untitled

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    Hey, I resemble that remark! :D
     
  11. Darfion

    Darfion Soapbox guru...

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    I posted it twice just in case you didn't hear it the first time :D
     
  12. Osmer_Toby

    Osmer_Toby TPF Noob!

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    It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman...

    On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a
    severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to
    worsewhen one wing is struck by lightning.

    One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the
    front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then
    she yells, Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on
    earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me
    feel like a WOMAN?"

    For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own
    peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the
    front of the plane. Then an Italian man stands up in the rear of the plane. He is gorgeous: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel
    eyes.

    He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his
    shirt.....one button at a time. No one moves.

    He removes his shirt.
    Muscles ripple across his chest.
    She gasps...
    He whispers:

    "Iron this, and get me something to eat...."
     

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