Me, for CC

[Msteelio91]

All CC welcome just please don't laugh! This is my first time doing any kind of staged shot and I'm not super comfortable in front of the camera so it's all new to me...

I'm currently in Ohio on a business trip and was missing my girlfriend back home, tried to take a picture that captured my mood.

D7000
35mm
f2.8
ISO400
1/60

Single speedlight on camera pointed sideways at a mirror. This is my first speedlight too so I was getting a little creative with the light usage lol....

Before

After
(Sans vent per Curly's suggestion)

 

[curly]

Could you clone out the air vent?

 

[Msteelio91]

Edit: gave it a shot, that faint pattern is rough haha not my best but I do think it looks better without the vent
(cleaned up my terrible clone job here and stuck it in the first post)

 

[curly]

Does look better without the vent

 

[Msteelio91]

Bump!

 

[Msteelio91]

BUMP!!

 

[mmaria]

ok Matt

I'm not liking the pose, your leg is too prominent and your legs are the only black elements in the pict.

I get that you're missing your gf but I don't get that from your pict, I see the expression but the processing and the pose aren't really saying that.

Work on your pose, keep your head a bit closer to the lens, legs a bit further.

also, there's no need for additional light when you have the window there and you're trying to convey a feeling that isn't too "light/bright/happy"

off course, jmo

 

[pgriz]

I'm with Marija. Your posture, expression and brightness of light do not communicate what you want us to see/feel. Some suggestions if you would consider a retake:

• "bright" usually conveys happiness, optimism, contentment. If you were facing somewhat away from the window, so that your face was in shadow, that would communicate your feeling better, as we usually associate shadows with the opposite of "happiness, optimism, contentment".
• your posture looks pretty relaxed. If you saw another person with that exact posture, would you sense that the person is missing someone? Probably not. We tend to associate a somewhat hunched-over look, or at least a not "casually-comfortable" posture with certain emotions. Look at people in a mall. Try to guess what kind of mood they are in by the way they stand or sit. I think you'll see certain patterns which will let you infer their emotional state.
• the expression, at least what I perceive of it, is pretty neutral. We tend to associate certain expressions with particular emotions, and "longing" for one's love is not an easy one to convey. However, a frown, or set of the lips could give the idea that you're not neutral.
• for us, the viewers, it helps to save a few props to allow us to read into the image your intentions. For example, if you were holding a note from your girlfriend, or perhaps looking at her picture, that would allow us to figure out why you were being unhappy.
• you may want to look for a cleaner background. Besides the vent propping up your head, you're also staring at a lamp balancing on your arm (not really, but on a 2-dimensional image, you are).

Just like in cinematography, it takes a lot of effort to make something look "natural", and to allow us to buy into the illusion you're creating. Each element in the image will either reinforce your idea, or work against it. Look at the quote in my signature - Lew condensed a lot of knowledge into a few sentences.

 

[Msteelio91]

Nice thank you guys so much! I'm going to try to retake this but it will be in an entirely different setting since I leave today. I'll try using just natural light as well.