No Longer Depressed; Heartbroken, Sure.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Soul Rebel, Sep 5, 2006.

  1. Soul Rebel

    Soul Rebel TPF Noob!

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    I was going to find my thread and add an update but looking for the thread title made, well, depressed. Things have changed since then. A lot of things to be honest.

    I made it up to see an ex and despite the fact that she is with somebody it was nice to get to see her again. She seems to have grown as a person and to be somebody I want to be good friends with. Unlike before.

    I havent talked to Michelle much the last week or so. She no longer lives where she had been staying. I no longer have the chance to stop by and see everybody then go home. I have had Brayden for most of the last week and it looks like ill have him for awhile longer. That doesnt bother me. We are having a ton of fun and he seems to love it here.

    I was going good until tonight. I know that I am open to the possibility of a relationship. Even this soon. Not that I am looking but I am one of those that isnt going to say no when something may be the best thing to come my way. That is just stupid. Ill go with whatever comes my way and see how it turns out. Anyway, I wasnt prepared to take a glance at her updated myspace profile. It looks like she is looking for somebody. She made the comment that she wants to find somebody that likes kids and doesnt just tolerate them. That she will see what happens after that. That hit me hard because I want to stay in their lives and if that is what she is doing then its going to turn out bad for me. I havent had the chance to talk to her but I think I will. I want to find out what direction this is going.

    I dont know why it hurts so deeply. I know that I dont want to get back together but I guess in a way I wanted her to be waiting. I guess it would have shown that she still loved me. Then again I wouldnt be able to say that I would never have a relationship with her if it actually came to that. Heck, we were together a year and a half. I was in love with her. I cant just walk away that easy. But if I know what things went wrong, what I dont want to go back to, and that I dont want to get back together with her....why is it so hard to face the possibility that she is seeing somebody? It doesnt sound logical. And how do I get over it?
     
  2. Soul Rebel

    Soul Rebel TPF Noob!

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    Wow, I was really living a roller coaster few months. Things have changed lately. For the better. I am no longer in a relationship. I got out of a crappy 2 month fling. Great. I learned a lot. I grew as a person. I now have a job at Rent-A-Center (I know, we rip people off. Its a job though and I have medical benefits) and things are good. I havent been out lately to take any photos but that has more to do with my work schedule than anything else. Ill change that soon I hope.

    Anyway, thought I would stop and say hello. And thanks for putting up with my soap opera bs. You all were great.
     
  3. EBphotography

    EBphotography TPF Junkie!

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    Hey Soul Rebel..

    Glad to see you have been doing a little better, but sorry to see you upset. :(

    Try to remember that just because she wants someone who likes kids doesn't mean she wants to block you out, she just wants a father figure for when you aren't there, you know? I know it's hard and I hope things continue to improve for you. :hug::


    Eric.
     
  4. Soul Rebel

    Soul Rebel TPF Noob!

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    Oh im doing fine. Im not upset. Despite the heavy workload the last few weeks I have been happy, for the most part.

    As an update to the two kids that I grew very close to....CPS took them away from their mother and after spending some time with her sister the youngest was put into a foster home and the oldest is with a cousin. Its a good situation for them and I am happy for that.
     
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