Sails of Black

Discussion in 'The Creative Corner' started by Verbal, Dec 23, 2005.

  1. Verbal

    Verbal $100

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    I honestly have no idea where this story/poem is headed, so shout if you have any ideas!

    the solitary tear falls noiselessy down
    where it shatters upon impacting the floor
    a million points of brilliant light
    fly off into this gloomy night
    banishing her fears for evermore

    she wipes her eyes and looks away
    to the horizon where her hopes have ever been
    as she looks, the darkness flies
    and then the sun begins to rise
    just as Jesus rose, vanquishing her sin

    She looked on and she saw a ship
    silhouetted by the early morning sun
    as it drew near
    she thought in fear
    "My Lord, my God, whatever have I done?"

    Driven by guilt she has fled thus
    to this island that's so far away from home
    she thought her past
    was gone at last
    she thought that she would be quite free to roam

    The ship sailed on and then she saw
    The emblem that was written on their flag
    and now she knew her past was back
    borne on a ship with sails of black
    tattered, barely more than just a rag


    to be continued...
     
  2. Peanuts

    Peanuts TPF Noob!

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    Had to read it through twice to get the full gist of it, but it is a great piece of work in progress.

    Can't give you any critique or ideas about it though, poetry isn't exactly my strong sector.
     
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  3. Verbal

    Verbal $100

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    Thanks Britanny! =)
     

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