But the disconnect that a 28mm "length" is not 28mm "long" really gets under my skin because I begin to worry "Why did they call it 28mm then?".
Because that defines the viewing angle ?
As the most simple and easiest example, assuming we want to make a camera obscura, so thats the most simple of cameras, a camera with simply a small hole instead of any optics, then the distance between the hole and the sensor area is exactly the focal length of that camera obscura, and one could have a camera obscura with a zoom simply by allowing to change the distance between the hole and the sensor.
Its is still the same for
large format cameras. Large format cameras have two "planes", one at the front for the lens and one at the back for the sensor area, and a cloth protection between so light doesnt enter the camera except through the lens. They are focused by moving these two planes (which, as mentioned in the Wikipedia article, allows additional trickery of shifting and tilting).
That means large format lenses (as well as some medium format and small format lenses) are of a single group, i.e. the lens elements stay fixed towards each other, and the lens is focused by moving this single group, i.e. the whole lens, instead of moving lens element groups individually.
And many of these lenses arent
telephoto (and for large format I have yet to see one thats retrofocus). Obviously if they are, they will no longer behave like a camera obscura.
If you focus such a lens at infinity, the distance between the "hole" (the aperture) and the sensor will be indeed exactly the focal length of that optics. And for the record, if you want to use the same lens for macro, for 1:1 macro, the distance between sensor and optics will be exactly twice the focal length.
It should be added that such lenses also have extreme focus breathing. I.e. the focal length of your lens changes if you change focus. So your 150mm "normal" lens on a 4x5 camera (about the equivalent of a 50mm on small format), when focused at 1:1 magnification, will be 300mm from the sensor area (again this is the distance between the sensor of the APERTURE HOLE and not between front element of the lens) and will indeed have the focal length of 300mm.
With more complex lens designs, i.e. lenses that can stay in a fixed position towards the sensors, lens element groups are moved individually, which is of course more error phrone, but medium and small format cameras dont archieve the insane resolutions of large format anyway, so thats tolerated. There are some medium and small format cameras that also use focusing by moving the lens as a whole, though.
Either way such constructions allow all kinds of trickery, including for example zooms, and allow to focus without moving the front element of the lens at all (avoids sucking in air, which means that lens is much less phrone to dust).