don't have a cow maaaaaaaaaaan

[captain-spanky]

Capitalism and corporations....

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your
herd multiplies, and
the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.You sell three of them to your
publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law
at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general
offer so that you get
all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five
cows. The milk rights of
the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all
seven cows back to your listed company. The annual
report says the company
owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one
cow to buy a new
president of the United States, leaving you with nine
cows. No balance
sheet
provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other
to produce the milk
of
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. u go on strike because you want
three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk. You then create a
clever cow cartoon images
called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat
once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
five cows. You count
them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
again and learn you
have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You
charge others for
storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
newsman who reported
the numbers.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.


sorry.

 

[mrsid99]

Thanks for a great laugh!
The only problem is that it's so accurate!

 

[luckydog]

It's not accurate at all!!!

I know the cow on the left and she's stuck up. The one on the right on the udder hand......

Also you forgot the New Zealand Corporation.
Vonnagy has 2 cows. Swaps them for two sheep, a pair of wellingtons and some velcro gloves.

 

[aggiezach]