How would you react?

ferny · Oct 20, 2004

Some of you know I work at a school. A little while after I started a couple of girls came up to me asking if I had a girlfriend. I don't think I said yes or no, it was a while ago. Recently, for the last two weeks or so, one girl (I think it was her) has been paying me compliments. It started as "I like your coat". The other day it was "I like your bike" (I ride one to work). And on Tuesday it was "I like your hair" (I'd had it cut Monday night). Today she and a friend were following me around a little bit. Now and again when I turned round they were there with a big grin on their faces. I'm a paranoid person as it is, but when two girls follow you about and start being nice for no reason you get a bit suspicious. The friend that the girl was with is cheeky. Well, not so much cheeky. Just someone who you have to turn around and look at after you've walked past to make sure she's not up to anything.

Today on the way home my boss told me that this girl has a love letter for me. My boss wouldn't lie, especially about things like this. She finds it funny though, as I do. She's going to give me some stick about this.

So my question is this. How would you react if a girl who is 9-10 tells you that she loves you? Or at least fancies you.

mentos_007 · Oct 20, 2004

Hmm I think that you shouldn't pay attention to their comments. Just reply not arrogantly, but try to behave a little more "strict". For example don't look at them when they are around you, ignore their comments etc. Because if you would response too kindly you can be accused for molesting kids. I'm not kidding.

I'm afraid that talking to her about this issiue is worthless, because she's too young to think seriously about love, and aftermaths of this "fancy" behaviour. It may cause you many problems

Artemis · Oct 20, 2004

Mate no worries, tell your boss your concerns, but its a 9 - 10 year old.
For girls, and anyone for that matter, love is just when they slightly fancy you.

Dont worry about it mate, the Fancying a teacher faze is one we all have to go through, just be carefull...you dont wanna get in trouble

Karalee · Oct 20, 2004

Its cute :LOL: but I doubt you would run off with a 9-10 yr old. Im sure we all had our crushes back then, so be good to her

Im sure itll get old in a little while.

Nagala · Oct 20, 2004

I had a group of 4th-graders tell me they thought I was cute when I had to go shoot a jump-roping rund-raiser at a school once. I just laughed it off and told them that my wife would appreciate it. Think on their level. They're not understanding the age thing. They do understand the already taken thing. Let it pass and be careful in this crazy world.

Sharkbait · Oct 20, 2004

As a teacher myself, my advice is just to play it very safe. Yes, you can laugh it off--if they compliment you, just say, "Thank you, that's nice of you to say that." If they start asking what you think about them (that's probably the next step if this doesn't die out), be ready with a response that firmly them back in the classroom--something like, "I think you're a good student, but you need to work more on your math," or something like that.

Then it's just a matter of being careful--under no circumstances ever, ever, EVER get caught alone with them. If they have to come to your classroom or something, make sure either there's another adult present or at the very least the door is wide open. If they ever try to touch you, even just a hand on your arm or something, firmly move away--leave the room if you have to, etc.

Sure, it's most likely a harmless crush and will be over in a month, but make sure you cover your own arse so there's no chance of anything blowing up in your face.

ferny · Oct 21, 2004

Thanks for the replies. I'm not a teacher, I just look after them during their lunchtime, hand out detentions and make sure they don't rip each other to shreds. And for anyone who may have thought I had plans for this to go further. I don't! :lol:

It never even registered with me that she may fancy me when she was saying the other stuff. Some children are nice, some like to suck up to the teacher and some like to get friendly with a teacher because they think it'll help them get away with murder. So when she's paid me a complement I've just said "thank you" and carried on walking. I was interested to see what you guys would do in a situation like this. Say she does decide to take it a step further and hands me a note. Do I say "thank you, I'll read it later", "I can't accept letters" or something else? There is a lot of potential for anything I say to be taken the wrong way. And just as much for me to crush her little heart (I hope I don't sound big headed there).

I'm very conscious of what I do with and around the children. At this age lots of them need a cuddle, a shoulder to cry on or just someone to walk around the playground with. As a male I get worried about them going home and telling their mum and dad that "the man gave me a cuddle today" and the parents jumping to the wrong conclusion. If I was female it wouldn't be a problem. Odd isn't it?

It's kind of funny though. I was told by someone I work with that she overheard the children saying they were scared of me. If there is a group and I walk towards them I hear them say "Shh.. He's coming." And they all seem to run off. :mrgreen:

dont worry about it mate, the Fancying a teacher faze is one we all have to go through

I remember starting school in year three and fancying my teacher. Then going to year four and fancying that teacher. It stopped in year five when I had an old Polish guy. :mrgreen: This girl is year five by the way. That'll only make sense to UK people.

Darfion · Oct 21, 2004

I am quite used to it now what with my boyish charm, boyband good looks and a fantastic frame.

John E. · Oct 21, 2004

It is sad that we as males have to worry about these types of situations instead of just having fun with it. I agree with distancing yourself with the girls, as who needs the potential trouble.

I am sure almost all us guys run into similair situations from time to time, then we have to be very carefull as it is so easy to get a bad label attached with our reputation or worst. On society as a whole that typical reaction has to have a negitive impact on all the young girls growing up.

Corry · Oct 21, 2004

I think Shark and the rest gave some very good advice. Make sure you aren't ever alone with them.

I had a male friend a while back who was a high school teacher. His first job right out of college he had problems right away. This guy was extremely good looking, and the girls were constantly saying things to him. It made him VERY nervous about his job. So you aren't the only one who has been through something similar!

mentos_007 · Oct 21, 2004

It stopped in year five when I had an old Polish guy.

grrr.... he was teaching you??? really? which subject?

ferny · Oct 21, 2004

In junior school (7-11) here we don't have teachers for each subject. You get one teacher when you start (year three) and they do the lot. Maths, English, Science, History etc. Then at the end of the year you get a new teacher and classroom (year four) and the same thing happens. Then you go to year five and finally year six, just like before. Then you leave junior school and go to high school (11-16). That is when it changes and you get a form teacher for the five years you're there but different teachers for each subject. It gets a little harder to explain to. As later on you gets sets and groups and.... blah!

The Polish guy was called Mr Sorder (I have no idea on the spelling, I was 9-10!). Nice guy. Had loads of respect from the kids.

rangefinder · Oct 22, 2004

In the 50's and 60's I think most would have considered it just a harmless crush that would wear off fairly soon. But times have changed - dramatically since then.

You boss knows about this and you should speak with her about your concerns. Get it on record. The advice about not being alone with one or both of them is spot on. They may be good kids, but not everyone will view this as harmless. Some will even use something like to make a statement for some weird cause.

Talk with your boss. Maybe the boss can talk to a female teacher and or the parents. Maybe the teacher can keep them occupied in anoter area or venue. Play it safe.