Is it rude to...

[rexbobcat]

One of my relatives is getting married in March, and I was planning on attending the event as a guest...sort of...

They've already hired a photographer for the actual wedding, but I feel that it would be very difficult for me to just not bring my camera at all.

I don't mean that I want to steal the main photographer's thunder, but I'd like to show up and just go around taking some casual snapshots of family and whatnot.

But...is that rude? At the last wedding I went to (which was also family) the photographer came up to me and said "hey you, listen. This is OUR gig."

I know nobody likes the guest who tries to one-up the pro, but it's my family and from an ethical standpoint I'm torn. Heh.

What do y'all think?

 

[EIngerson]

It's family. No it's not rude.

 

[christop]

I think it's rude of that photographer to basically tell you to stop taking pictures at your own family's wedding (unless you were getting in their way). They're getting paid whether you take pictures or not.

 

[pgriz]

Every family wedding I've been to, I've taken a zillion shots. Of course, just to be sure that there are no issues, I've checked both with the family and the photographer, and I've never had anyone tell me I can't take pictures of the event. I've also asked the photographer(s) to tell me if there are areas where I should not be, so as to not screw up their sightlines, and pretty much all appreciated my efforts at not getting into their way. So, as long as they know what you will be doing, and you know what they need to get, I don't see a problem.

 

[BrianV]

It is not rude, it is family- and the photographer at the last wedding was way out of line. I've seen some real moron photographers at family weddings, and some really great ones that invite people up after they got their shot.

 

[Tee]

What are to you trying to gain by bringing your camera?

Don't do it. Enjoy the wedding as a guest. Dance, have some cocktails, catch up with relatives, etc. I know I'm going against the grain from the previous posts but surely you can go one day without trying to be a pro.

 

[christop]

What are to you trying to gain by bringing your camera?

Don't do it. Enjoy the wedding as a guest. Dance, have some cocktails, catch up with relatives, etc. I know I'm going against the grain from the previous posts but surely you can go one day without trying to be a pro.

Maybe it's more enjoyable taking pictures than doing those other activities. I know it would be for me.

 

[rexbobcat]

What are to you trying to gain by bringing your camera?

Don't do it. Enjoy the wedding as a guest. Dance, have some cocktails, catch up with relatives, etc. I know I'm going against the grain from the previous posts but surely you can go one day without trying to be a pro.

I'm the guy who takes photos at Christmas, and Thanksgiving, and birthdays.

I don't know where you got the idea that I'm trying to be a pro by bringing my camera to take snapshots of a momentous occasion...

And besides that, isn't it how it goes that when you don't have your camera, you wish you did?

I was just looking for input from others who either shoot weddings or have run into issues in the past.

I don't really care about taking photos of the bride and groom because the official photog will get those. I'm talking about the guests and all of the little trivial moments that have no sentimental value to the pro.

I want to make that distinction clear so I don't seem like too terrible of a person. I really don't want to be "that guy", but at the same time being without a camera at something like this is like being without my phone. Lol

 

[Tee]

I really don't want to be "that guy", but at the same time....

Well. You asked for thoughts and I gave you mine. Your initial post describing your run in with the photographer gives the impression that you may just be "that guy". Either way, do your thing. Have fun.

 

[rexbobcat]

Well. You asked for thoughts and I gave you mine. Your initial post describing your run in with the photographer gives the impression that you may just be "that guy". Either way, do your thing. Have fun.

But how is it possible not to be that guy while still taking photos, or do you think it's inevitable - kind of like how any camera bigger than a stack of cards is considered a professional camera at sporting events.

Your initial post seemed kind of aggressive insinuating that I'm trying to compete with the pro. that is why I responded.

 

[pixmedic]

not that the photographer should be rude...BUT, from the photographers standpoint, if you bring a good DSLR to the wedding, it might be possible that you get shots that the photographer normally would have made money on selling prints to family members that will now just get them from YOU for free. it could be viewed, even as a family member doing it, as cutting the main photog out of some income. I think there should be some discussion beforehand between you, your family, and the photographer rather than just showing up taking pictures. it could prevent any "rudeness" at the actual wedding.

 

[accuseal]

The B &G have paid big $ to get good pics. As a former wedding photog, amateurs were a nuisance and a distraction. Leave the camera at home. Better you spend your time observing the Pro and learning.

 

[jrizal]

What are to you trying to gain by bringing your camera?

Don't do it. Enjoy the wedding as a guest. Dance, have some cocktails, catch up with relatives, etc. I know I'm going against the grain from the previous posts but surely you can go one day without trying to be a pro.

I'm the guy who takes photos at Christmas, and Thanksgiving, and birthdays.

I don't know where you got the idea that I'm trying to be a pro by bringing my camera to take snapshots of a momentous occasion...

And besides that, isn't it how it goes that when you don't have your camera, you wish you did?

I was just looking for input from others who either shoot weddings or have run into issues in the past.

I don't really care about taking photos of the bride and groom because the official photog will get those. I'm talking about the guests and all of the little trivial moments that have no sentimental value to the pro.

I want to make that distinction clear so I don't seem like too terrible of a person. I really don't want to be "that guy", but at the same time being without a camera at something like this is like being without my phone. Lol

For me, it would be rude to get into anybody's way whether they may be the bride and groom, official photog or other guests. I am also assuming you are smart enough to use a zoom as much as possible to get out of the way and still take photos. And even if you use a short prime, I am still assuming you are still getting out of the way. And minimize the use of flash since you are not the official photographer. (But what's the use of better glass anyway?) Lastly, as a courtesy to the bride and groom I would often send the copies (digital or print) of my best shots. Just me.

PS Take note that the official photographer's photo will always be put in the wedding album not yours! But your may be put in a digital photo frame. And if you want to post or sell your photos to a third party, it is always wise to get their permission.

PS 2 Then maybe Tee is right. Have fun, get some drinks, mingle with the other guests and perhaps meet someone special if you're not attached or married and really enjoy the wedding and reception as family. But that's your call.

PS 3 There will be always that other guy/gal who will be bringing a camera and will continue snapping pictures whether that camera is a DSLR, a P/S and a phone camera.

the photographer came up to me and said "hey you, listen. This is OUR gig."

I know nobody likes the guest who tries to one-up the pro, but it's my family and from an ethical standpoint I'm torn. Heh.

Seems the official photog has some insecurity issues. Maybe it's because of your gear. But then again it their gig and their pictures will always be put in the wedding album.

 

[ratssass]

in all honesty,what if the tables were turned?how would that make you feel?

 

[manicmike]

I think it's a bit rude.