I do not understand what it is you are trying to convey in this shot.
Maybe it is my screen, but the shot does not seem altogether focused, it is not soft enough for me to see it has been softened, and I am not sure of the theme, intent or story. The lighting seems a little harsh.
I am not trying to be a hard critic, I am trying to learn from other people's work and then use the knowledge gained in my work.
Teach me something here...