feel free to make any rec I couldn't quite get what I wanted from this unless I dropped the contrast and went gray
There's quite a bit of ground between this and a kind of flat grey. Sometimes it takes a lot of messing with the exposure and the curve during the raw conversion to get there, but it should be possible, that is unless those burned-out highlights are completely gone even in the raw file. If not, you could also try double-processing the raw file (I've been assuming you shoot raw - if not, start doing it!), once for the highlights and once for the shadows/mid-tones.