Depressed

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Soul Rebel, Aug 8, 2006.

  1. Soul Rebel

    Soul Rebel TPF Noob!

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    Michelle broke up with me tonight. I dont know how I feel 100%. I am sad and cried once. Most of my thought is about losing the chance to be a father to these two boys and be around as much as I have been. I took it for granted but lately I have stopped. I love both kids and despite not sharing the blood relationship....they are my boys. Whether me and Michelle are together or not. The thought of losing that scares me. Losing Michelle hurts though. It really does.

    Anyway, enough of this crap. I probably shouldnt have posted this. I just dont feel so good, my thoughts are racing, and everybody here is going to bed.

    I just want to meet somebody but it doesnt look good. Michelle is the first girl to actually care about me and want me for me. Im scared that nobody else every will.:(
     
  2. darin3200

    darin3200 TPF Noob!

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    Sorry to hear that man. But just remember that things get better, you probably don't believe that right now, but it will. There are always times when we think the world is going to end, just wait for everything to settle and things tend to work out or be a lot better then we intially think.
     
  3. Antarctican

    Antarctican TPF Noob!

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    Oh dear, what an emotional roller coaster you've been on these last few months. I'm very sorry to hear of the breakup. You have certainly tried hard, it seems. Your fear is what all of us feel at some point. You will find that person who 'wants you for you'....believe it.
     
  4. Big Mike

    Big Mike I am Big, I am Mike Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Sorry to hear that man.

    I agree with Darin, things will get better...although it might be hard for you to see that right now. Seeing how much you care for her and the boys, tells me that you're a good guy...someone will see that.
     
  5. terri

    terri Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    I'm sorry to hear it, as well. I know things feel pretty bleak for you right now....but remember what I was saying? Time to take care of #1 right now. :) Go easy on yourself. Let some time pass, you WILL get through this.
     
  6. Soul Rebel

    Soul Rebel TPF Noob!

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    Things are just so confusing right now. Some things dont even add up. As recently as Sunday she was telling me that things were getting better. We talked Saturday night and had one of the better talks that we have had in awhile. She had this seizure on Sunday night and started to hang out with her friend Sha....and even my father commented that it sounded like she was pushing something on Michelle. Not that Michelle didnt feel this way, but I get the feeling that Sha is really pushing this hard.

    I dont know. Ive gone from being alright to being devestated. I havent cried like I did the last time....but realizing she might be with somebody else really hurts. Like a kick in the gut.
     
  7. mentos_007

    mentos_007 The Freshmaker!

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    :hugs:
     
  8. PNA

    PNA TPF Noob!

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    If you can....take a trip out of town for a few days, alone, when you get back things may look different.

    Feel better about yourself..............

    "From an old man"
     
  9. Soul Rebel

    Soul Rebel TPF Noob!

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    Other than the fact that I dont have gas to get out of town....I have Brayden, our youngest, and I was planning on asking her if I could keep him for a few days. Ive enjoyed him much more lately (yes, before we broke up. He had stitches in his cheek and when he was finished he lunged for me and that made me feel more like a father than I ever have) and I want him around. It makes me feel good. I guess I am so scared that I might not have that closeness and if I can keep him around a few days that will give me a chance to have something to remember if indeed things dont go as I would like. I know that she says I can see them...but how much?
     
  10. Soul Rebel

    Soul Rebel TPF Noob!

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    Ive gone through this before but this time it feels so different. My concerns are much different than they were last time.

    Anyway, since its been determined that I cannot make it out of town (I really wish I could, actually, and that was a great idea) is there anything else I can be doing? I cant go on long hikes because I do have Brayden. Does it help to write things down? Write them down in a place like this for people to read? What things have people learned help in this situation?
     
  11. EBphotography

    EBphotography TPF Junkie!

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    Talking about things can help and you know we are always here to listen.:) Hope you feel better.
     
  12. Soul Rebel

    Soul Rebel TPF Noob!

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    Things have been confusing. Ive been helping her move things out and the more I do the more I think it would be good for us to have time to get things in focus. Or see if its meant to be. Im not crying like I was last time. Sure, there are times that it hurts....but they are getting fewer and farther between. Its actually been good.
     

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