DO PEOPLE GET OFF ON THIS?!?

AmberAtLoveAndInk · Jun 19, 2014

I have had this one woman now, THREE TIMES, set a shoot, last minute "reschedule" and then last minute completely bail the day before the deposit is due (I require deposits to be paid 2 weeks before a portrait session, but they can pay at any time understanding that if someone else wants that date and pays immediately, it's a "you snooze, you lose" situation) This last time she wanted engagement pics and then decided yesterday (exactly the day before the deposit is due) that she isn't sure who she is hiring for her wedding photographer and that many of the ones she's talked to include an engagement session. I politely mention I am now also offering weddings if she would like me to send over a PDF of packages to view. She acts completely elated and wants it sent to her asap. I do so, she says she would like to hire me, I send her a link to pay for a wedding deposit, and she is now MIA again.

Also had my next door neighbor offer up her teenage daughter me to use for an hour of senior model shooting one weekend (it would be FREE, just a few shots to get my senior portfolio stronger and she could have some nice pics of her daughter) and the day before we're both outside getting the mail and I ask "She still up for tomorrow?" and the neighbor answers yes, that I should come by at 1.
I show up (well, I walked 5ft to the right of my house lol) and knocked for about 10min. No answer. TV blaring in the background, both cars on the driveway. WTF. So I wait another hour, come back over, knock again. This time I hear the TV volume go up, again, WTF. I leave, and since then she won't even look towards my house and if we are in the front yard at the same time she runs off, no explanation, no "sorry my daughter was sick" excuse, nothing. Just straight bailed on me after she had told me 12 hours prior we were good to go.

This last one really pissed me off:

Old friend from high school (hadn't seen her in 5 years) now has 2 kids and wants family pics, she's not well off and I don't mind helping someone out. I offer her a half off session and a free 8x10 print. She is pregnant with her third and wanted to a gender announcement with the kids, she tells me that she wanted to do balloons coming out of a neutrally decorated box. I told her,"Ya, that's adorable!" she replies, "Great, let me know when the box is finished and how much it was for the stuff and I'll pay it at the shoot."
Ummm... ok.
Against better judgment I pick up a cheap crate and embellished it by hand and glue-gun with some cream ribbons and odds and ends. I take a pic of the box and text it her, asking if that's what she wanted. She was very pleased. Now what I didn't mention above is that she lives 3 hours away, my mom lives 10min from her so I was going to town strictly to visit my mom and do her portraits, depending on her $ for my gas tank, not much profit to be made.
I follow up AGAIN, the day before I go to drive down there, she again says shes ready to go. I drive there (about 2 hours before the session) and she texts me saying she may be running late since she is getting her son's haircut for the pics, I say ok no problem, she then replies 1 hour later, "Oh my God! That hair place was such a rip-off! I can't believe I just spent $XX on his hair!" I say "Ya, nothing is the way it use to be! I'll see you soon?" her reply "Hey, I hate to ask, but is there anyway you can drop your price down lower? That hair place really screwed me." I told her I was sorry but that I already wasn't making anything as it is with her custom prop and 50% off I already gave her. She says ok.

I'm not kidding, 15 MINUTES BEFORE THE SHOOT, I'm setting up at the park we decided to use and she texts me, not calls, "OH MY GOD, I'M HEADED TO THE ER AMBER! CAN'T MAKE IT! MY SON IS TERRIBLY SICK!" So I'm left with no $, a custom prop that is useless, and an earful from my husband because I racked up $120 on gas & misc stuff on my pointless 3 hour trip.

So my question is, DO PEOPLE JUST GET OFF ON THIS SH**?! Why in the hell are people like this! I could never do that to someone! I would be beyond embarrassed.
Is there some kind of medical term for this lol??
Any one else have some awesome "My Grandma Died" stories from clients?

480sparky · Jun 19, 2014

Welcome to the wonderful world of entrepreneurship. What you're experiencing is a direct result of the commoditization of the craft.

D7K · Jun 19, 2014

I don't think it's a fetish just maybe seriously bad luck or dealing with people who will not say No to your face?..

AmberAtLoveAndInk · Jun 19, 2014

480sparky said:
Welcome to the wonderful world of entrepreneurship. What you're experiencing is a direct result of the commoditization of the craft.

Like I mentioned above, I just couldn't do that! I feel bad when I have to reschedule a doctors appointment for pete's sake! I understand life throws things at you but it seems to me that these people just didn't have the money for it and knew so in the very beginning, but still went along with it all. Just. Don't. Get. It.
My neighbor... no idea. Guessing her daughter didn't want to and instead of just saying so, she would much ratherr ignore my existence for the next how many years we will be living next door to each other for lmao.

tirediron · Jun 19, 2014

And now you know why photographers drink.

Vince.1551 · Jun 19, 2014

I suggest next time no deposit no confirmation. It will save you lots of fruitless efforts.

nycphotography · Jun 19, 2014

tirediron said:
And now you know why photographers drink.

And why the rain makers are paid 3x what everyone else is.

Getting the $$$ to clink into the piggy bank is (just about) the only difference between a hobby and a business.

robbins.photo · Jun 19, 2014

AmberAtLoveAndInk said:
I have had this one woman now, THREE TIMES, set a shoot, last minute "reschedule" and then last minute completely bail the day before the deposit is due (I require deposits to be paid 2 weeks before a portrait session, but they can pay at any time understanding that if someone else wants that date and pays immediately, it's a "you snooze, you lose" situation) This last time she wanted engagement pics and then decided yesterday (exactly the day before the deposit is due) that she isn't sure who she is hiring for her wedding photographer and that many of the ones she's talked to include an engagement session. I politely mention I am now also offering weddings if she would like me to send over a PDF of packages to view. She acts completely elated and wants it sent to her asap. I do so, she says she would like to hire me, I send her a link to pay for a wedding deposit, and she is now MIA again.

Also had my next door neighbor offer up her teenage daughter me to use for an hour of senior model shooting one weekend (it would be FREE, just a few shots to get my senior portfolio stronger and she could have some nice pics of her daughter) and the day before we're both outside getting the mail and I ask "She still up for tomorrow?" and the neighbor answers yes, that I should come by at 1.
I show up (well, I walked 5ft to the right of my house lol) and knocked for about 10min. No answer. TV blaring in the background, both cars on the driveway. WTF. So I wait another hour, come back over, knock again. This time I hear the TV volume go up, again, WTF. I leave, and since then she won't even look towards my house and if we are in the front yard at the same time she runs off, no explanation, no "sorry my daughter was sick" excuse, nothing. Just straight bailed on me after she had told me 12 hours prior we were good to go.

This last one really pissed me off:

Old friend from high school (hadn't seen her in 5 years) now has 2 kids and wants family pics, she's not well off and I don't mind helping someone out. I offer her a half off session and a free 8x10 print. She is pregnant with her third and wanted to a gender announcement with the kids, she tells me that she wanted to do balloons coming out of a neutrally decorated box. I told her,"Ya, that's adorable!" she replies, "Great, let me know when the box is finished and how much it was for the stuff and I'll pay it at the shoot."
Ummm... ok.
Against better judgment I pick up a cheap crate and embellished it by hand and glue-gun with some cream ribbons and odds and ends. I take a pic of the box and text it her, asking if that's what she wanted. She was very pleased. Now what I didn't mention above is that she lives 3 hours away, my mom lives 10min from her so I was going to town strictly to visit my mom and do her portraits, depending on her $ for my gas tank, not much profit to be made.
I follow up AGAIN, the day before I go to drive down there, she again says shes ready to go. I drive there (about 2 hours before the session) and she texts me saying she may be running late since she is getting her son's haircut for the pics, I say ok no problem, she then replies 1 hour later, "Oh my God! That hair place was such a rip-off! I can't believe I just spent $XX on his hair!" I say "Ya, nothing is the way it use to be! I'll see you soon?" her reply "Hey, I hate to ask, but is there anyway you can drop your price down lower? That hair place really screwed me." I told her I was sorry but that I already wasn't making anything as it is with her custom prop and 50% off I already gave her. She says ok.

I'm not kidding, 15 MINUTES BEFORE THE SHOOT, I'm setting up at the park we decided to use and she texts me, not calls, "OH MY GOD, I'M HEADED TO THE ER AMBER! CAN'T MAKE IT! MY SON IS TERRIBLY SICK!" So I'm left with no $, a custom prop that is useless, and an earful from my husband because I racked up $120 on gas & misc stuff on my pointless 3 hour trip.

So my question is, DO PEOPLE JUST GET OFF ON THIS SH**?! Why in the hell are people like this! I could never do that to someone! I would be beyond embarrassed.
Is there some kind of medical term for this lol??
Any one else have some awesome "My Grandma Died" stories from clients?

I work in the Risk Assesment department for a popular internet website, we also handle credit card chargebacks in my department. I hear about 1000+ sob stories a day as to why people don't want to fulfill their financial obligations, and worse yet these are all after they've gotten the product.

So yup.. tons of war stories there. Granted normally all of this is handled via email by CS agents, but on occasion when they can't handle it and it needs to get escalated, well it generally lands in my lap eventually. So I don't do a lot of these, only the really really fun ones. A few personal favorites:

The lady who spent two and a half hours lecturing me about how she shouldn't have to pay because she was Native American, and European Settlers treated Native American's terribly back in the day. Even after two and a half hours I still have no idea how that applies to the notion that she shouldn't be responsible for paying charges that she agreed to pay before she got what she wanted.

The guy who explained to me that he was a police officer and that if I didn't refund his money he'd have me arrested. He was a little hazy on exactly what the charges would be, or how it is that he might even have the legal authority to do something like that since I was about 500 miles outside his jurisdiction in a completely different state. It also didn't seem to faze him at all that the law in all respects was entirely on our side and that at best this would be considered a civil matter, not criminal. But boy did he really love flashing his "I'm a cop" badge.. lol. We went round and round for a while, and finally I just said, ok, so officer let me ask you a question - if you went into a 7-11 and grabbed yourself a huge fountain drink and about 30 bucks worth of snacks, walked up to the counter and flashed the guy your badge and told him you were a police officer and as such you shouldn't have to pay for anything, then left - how long do you think it would take before IAD came knocking at your door? Now, that having been said, can you please explain to me the fundamental difference between that and the claim you are currently making with us?"

The lady who spent 20 minutes screaming at me - and I do mean screaming, about how she wasn't going to pay this because she didn't order it, her husband did. So I asked her, are the two of you divorced or seperated, and was screamed at again for another 15 minutes and told that was non of my darned business. Darned not being the actual phrase used of course. I explained to her that it actually was my business, I mean if they were divorced or seperated and he wasn't supposed to be using her debit card then that would make a difference in this situation. So she says oh yes, were seperated. We don't live together anymore - blah blah blah.. well I'm asking her for some more details so I can pull up the account and see what all was charged, and I hear a male voice in the background and she hands the phone.. lol.. to her husband. Apparently he's decided we are not handling this in a expeditious enough manner and is going to give me an earful about how incompetent I am and why haven't I gotten them their refund already. So first thing I ask is for him to verify the last 4 on the card, and ask if the card is in both he and his wife's name. Yup, they really kind of shot themselves in the foot there.

Yup, suffice to say people crack me up. A quick couple of thoughts, on the dissapearing client, if she contacts you back tell her you'll be happy to help her with anything she wants/needs but you won't be reserving any time on your calendar, the day will be open for anyone else to book, and that you will not discuss any details with her until a deposit is made. Explain to her that since you've already spent a lot of time on her behalf and made zero money, that at this stage you'll simply have to assume she is not serious until some money changes hands. You can put some frills and window dressing on it of course, but more or less just let her know you won't lift a finger for her at this point until you see some green.

Next door neighbor - eh, well not worth making a federal case over but not a situation you should put yourself in again. They've proven to be untrustworthy, so next time she offers her daughter for a shoot, etc - well, sorry but not interested unless you'd like to book something. Ship has sailed I'm afraid.

Old friend.. eh. If she wants to rebook, fine. Ask for a deposit big enough to cover all the expenses you incurred last time and all the expenses you will incur this time plus a little extra for your time and trouble. No deposit, then sorry, but I'm afraid I can't help you. One of the reasons I strive so hard to never have business dealings with family/friends.

AmberAtLoveAndInk · Jun 19, 2014

Robbins.photo : I could NOT do your job lol not for one day! I feel like I'm just in the most awkward position. The neighbor, ya screw her. Not like I was ever borrowing sugar from her to begin with. I wasn't really worried about it, just really irritated now that the one nice neighbor I thought I had wont even speak to me anymore out of sheer embarrassment I'm sure. Her husband still chats, he's about 15 years younger than her though and is a bit on the "let me give you a creepy hug" side lol.
The MIA client, I honestly just want to lose my sh** and tell her to do her business or get off the pot. At this point I feel like she has to know I know what she's doing. I'll take your advice and leave it to her to put down the $ before I waste any time on her.
The "old friend" after all this she then posts to facebook a month later that she really needs family pics and does anyone know of a good photographer for cheap, LMAO. Needless to say, we're not friends anymore. Especially since (I forgot to post this above) she put up a pic online of her at a campfire with I believe was a beer (yes she's pregnant) about 2 hours after "she had to go to the ER and miss our shoot". Then she de-friended me after I "liked" the pic rotfl!

AmberAtLoveAndInk · Jun 19, 2014

Also, love the "Big Bad Policeman" bit lmao, really?? What an idiot.

robbins.photo · Jun 19, 2014

AmberAtLoveAndInk said:
Robbins.photo : I could NOT do your job lol not for one day! I feel like I'm just in the most awkward position. The neighbor, ya screw her. Not like I was ever borrowing sugar from her to begin with. I wasn't really worried about it, just really irritated now that the one nice neighbor I thought I had wont even speak to me anymore out of sheer embarrassment I'm sure. Her husband still chats, he's about 15 years younger than her though and is a bit on the "let me give you a creepy hug" side lol.

Lol.. well quick tip on that, they stop giving you creepy hugs the first time you kick them in the nads. It's like a secret code really.. lol As to the job, well the really sick thing is I really like my job. I don't spend much time on the phone I generally only have to deal with maybe a couple of these a month. They only send me the total train wrecks that no one else was succesfull in dealing with, othre than that I deal with spreadsheets and financial transactions and data analsys, etc - so yup. getting on the phone with a complete whack job is actually a nice change of pace at times.

The MIA client, I honestly just want to lose my sh** and tell her to do her business or get off the pot. At this point I feel like she has to know I know what she's doing. I'll take your advice and leave it to her to put down the $ before I waste any time on her.

Yup.. and you won't hear from her again - lol. Just the way those folks are, but really, win win.. lol

The "old friend" after all this she then posts to facebook a month later that she really needs family pics and does anyone know of a good photographer for cheap, LMAO. Needless to say, we're not friends anymore. Especially since (I forgot to post this above) she put up a pic online of her at a campfire with I believe was a beer (yes she's pregnant) about 2 hours after "she had to go to the ER and miss our shoot". Then she de-friended me after I "liked" the pic rotfl!

Ok, well.. lets be fair here and give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she had stored her beer at the ER?

Lol.. ok, ya, time to walk away from that one I think.

vintagesnaps · Jun 19, 2014

Set limits and guidelines. People will do that kind of thing all the time... the type of non-photography work I've done involved working with families, no-shows got a phone call then a letter then withdrawn if they didn't respond within a specific time frame. You might need to find a balance between being flexible and giving people too much leeway. (And if you're making a prop have it be something you can use again, not just for a one-time free/underpriced session that didn't work out.)

If you're going to be in business, then be in business! stop the freebies/underpricing (unless it's for a charity you choose to support). I don't know that you can ever eliminate all of this type thing but maybe it would help to learn techniques in how to schedule clients, give clear specific guidelines, etc. I think it takes being friendly yet professional and business-like and maybe your age and/or youthful appearance is sometimes not to your advantage - maybe it would help to think about how you portray yourself so people know you are a business owner.

Maybe a business class/workshop, such as an adult continuing ed. class, would be worth taking. I appreciate that you're a sincerely nice and generous person who likes people and has a personality that people respond to in a positive way - that can be a big part of being a photographer and you seem to have that. Maybe you need to think about what guidelines and procedures you should establish to help you be successful in running your own business.

robbins.photo · Jun 19, 2014

AmberAtLoveAndInk said:
Also, love the "Big Bad Policeman" bit lmao, really?? What an idiot.

Lol.. best part of that conversation was when he told me that if he needed to he could call the county attorney in my county and have him press charges. I told him no problem, his name is Robert. I generally just call him Uncle Bob. Nice guy, can't grill a hamburger to save his life though. Thing is Uncle Bob is kind of a stickler for not filing charges until someone can explain to him exactly what law was supposedly broken, so I doubt you'll get very far there - but I'll keep my fingers crossed for you... dead silence on the other end of the line.

That was pretty much the reason I ended up with the call, whatever agent he was dealing with would try to explain to Captain Fantastic what the rules were on something like this and he'd threaten to have them arrested, so it would go to a supervisor, same thing, after about half a dozen calls they "red flagged" him so the next time he called they transfered him straight on to me.

My other favorite part of that call, "Well let me speak with your supervisor" to which I responded, "I don't have one. As far as this issue is concerned this is as high up the chain of command as it gets." So then he pulls the, "give me your CEO's phone number" BS, lol. Right, Like I've never heard that one before. I think this guy must have had a lot of success pulling this passive aggressive threat nonsense with other companies. He just really wasn't expecting someone to actually tell him no and mean it.