for hobbes...

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by aprilraven, Mar 15, 2006.

  1. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    i know your missing the homeland...so

    this is for you....

    any questions?? ya'll just ask us..... we're here to help....

    (the south will rise again....it may be later on, cause we are a bit
    tuckered out....but...we will rise again....)

    The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses.

    The North has dating services, The South has family reunions.

    The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee Press-on Nails.

    The North has double last names, The South has double first names.

    The North has Indy car races, The South has stock car races.

    The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.

    The North has green salads, The South has collard greens.

    The North has lobsters, The South has crawfish.

    The North has the rust belt, The South has the Bible Belt.

    FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . . In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

    Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....do not buy food at this store.

    Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.

    Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

    Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

    Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

    The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

    Be advised that "He needed killin." is a valid defense here.

    If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

    If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

    Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

    In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

    AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.


    ya'll come back now, ya hear???






     
  2. Calliope

    Calliope TPF Noob!

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    Aint it the truth!?! :lol:

    You can tell JM is from the south cause of his name: John Michael! :mrgreen:
     
  3. anicole

    anicole TPF Noob!

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    The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.
    (made with milk, add lots of butter and pepper!!)

    Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
    (use in greens, beans, peas, and to grease the pan for the biscuits!)

    If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
    (you have to get milk and bread ... whether you need it or not!)

    Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
    (both my boys own shotguns ... and I taught 'em how to shoot ... and I shoot better than most of the men in my family!)

    Thanks, Raven ... I feel a little like Scarlett now! :lol:
     
  4. Antarctican

    Antarctican TPF Noob!

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    :biglaugh:
     
  5. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    ya'll laugh at this.... but we are serious... bacon grease..? has more uses than bubba had for shrimp....various and sundry....

    and believe me, you dont wanna mess with a 10 yr old southern boy or girl, with a rifle.....they can knock a gnat off a fence post...!!!

    yee-haw
     
  6. anicole

    anicole TPF Noob!

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    There should be one about how we always ask after your family:

    How you doin'? Hows your momma and them?

    Heck they should add one about how we talk to everyone ... stranger or not ...
     
  7. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    and you cant get much stranger than us...!! :lovey:
     
  8. hobbes28

    hobbes28 Incredible Supporting Member

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    Yeah, but it sounds like you're saying, "Howsyamommanem"

    That's awesome and soooo true. I have a can of bacon grease beside the stove now and Alison has been learned on what goes in there and what don't. That was after she learned that it wasn't being put there for easy disposal... :D
     
  9. clarinetJWD

    clarinetJWD The Naked Spammer Staff Member

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    You're just so wrong about the Y'all thing!!! In what possible way is it singular!? it's a contraction of you and all. You all...try to use that in a singular fashion. YOU CAN'T [/rant]

    Sorry...I hate people saying "all y'all" it's redundant, and defeats the purpose of the contraction in the first place (to remove syllables)
     
  10. Unimaxium

    Unimaxium TPF Noob!

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    Here in Philly the expression is "yous", most commonly pronounced "yuz". It serves as both singular and plural, though. Wrap your head around that ;-)
     
  11. hobbes28

    hobbes28 Incredible Supporting Member

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    Poor Joe. I think you've been too close to the North for too long.... you're starting to lose ya'lls Southerness... ;)
     
  12. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    :lol:


    hate to tell ya, joe....but to tell a southerner that he is wrong in saying ya'll as singular....

    well, heck...thats like telling a woman she is wrong about child birth hurtin'...or telling your momma that she really dont know ya...;)

    come down here, baby...... we will show you how to say ya'll...

    i know a few yankees that have started that, and saying fixin' ta...

    we southerners are like mold, we grow on ya...whether you want us to or not.....:mrgreen:
     

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