In The Wings

Discussion in 'Critique Forum Archives' started by Tuna, Jun 27, 2005.

  1. Tuna

    Tuna Supermodel

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    I've stared at this long enough - I'll let you tell me.

    Does it tell the story?

    Digital SLR
    Conversion done in Photoshop

    Tuna

    [​IMG]
     
  2. kilifila66

    kilifila66 TPF Noob!

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    I think this does a nice job saying everything it needs to. I can see the anticipation on the faces of the girls in the wings and it provides a sense of what is going on in their minds. Also I like the contrast between the girls dancing that appear totally carefree vs the girls waiting to go on who appear totally focused. I also like your DOF here, good detail from front to back.
     
  3. bogleric

    bogleric TPF Noob!

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    The DOF is good, focus is nice, and the brightness / exposure allows for excellent contrast within th e image. The only part that bugs me a little is the dancer being chopped off on the right edge.

    I find myself staring at the open space in the middle and then all of a sudden find the girl on the far side of the stage.

    Very nice, too bad the one dancer wasn't in a different spot.

    Great shot.
     
  4. quark2010

    quark2010 TPF Noob!

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    I like the composition and the expression on the girls behind the stage. They are concentrated in the next play while the other girls are performing and having fun. The black and white on the pictures brings up the contrast giving more detail.

    However, there is one detail that distracts my attention from the scene and I am refering to the mouth of the girl on the right. It seems to have two mouths and two chins. Perhaps it could bee fixed with the cloning tool by adding darker leaves on the background.

    Nice work!
     
  5. BLS

    BLS TPF Noob!

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    Nice shot, as usual, Tuna! And nice conversion.

    The composition has me a little torn since I can't decide what the main subject is -- the dancing girls on the right or the girls in the wing on the left? The dancers take up 2/3 of the frame, so maybe they are the main subject, what you want me to concentrate on. On the other hand, the girls in the wing are closer and the one dancer is cut off, so maybe the girls are the subject. My eyes keep going back and forth without resting. But maybe you wanted that kind of tension.

    Btw, the cut off dancer doesn't bother me at all. And for some reason my interpretation of the girls in the wing differs from others. To me they seem to be gossiping (sp?) rather than concentrating or anticipating. Guess that's just me. And I agree about the open space in the middle being a tad too much, but these action shots are hard to get, so it doesn't bother me too much.

    Having said all that, the bottom line is: I like the shot!

    Oops! Just noticed the title. Guess the girls in the wings are the subject. In that case, you might want to play with flipping the image so that they are on the right. Just a thought.
     
  6. Johnboy2978

    Johnboy2978 No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    Tuna, I am typically very pleased with your posts and this one certainly is no exception. I think this makes an intersting picture which is quite busy with activity and I think it tells a story, perhaps several. First, for me, the subject is the submissive girl off stage. You have the 2 girls on the left discussing perhaps their technique or perhaps social gossip (which is probably more accurate). You have the other 3 (narcissistic? or just self confident) girls on stage warming up/practicing. Then in the back, is the little girl who seems to want to be part of it all, but is hanging back, and she is the subject for me.

    I think it certainly holds your attention as there seems to 3 mini-scenes here and, like me, makes you wonder what is really going on here.

    Technically, I think you have done a pretty good job. I like the b/w conversion and like the tones that you were able to bring out. My only techincal critique (and it is minor) is the slightly blown out area of the dress of the girl left of center.

    I think this is an interesting capture you have and there certainly is a lot to say about it.
     
  7. Tuna

    Tuna Supermodel

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    kilifila, bogleric, quark, BLS and Johnboy - thank you for your in-depth comments and critique.

    I worried that this one would be too busy for the viewer but it appears from your responses that the image is busy in a good way - that the various aspects of the image both hold their own and work together. For me, it is still compositionally difficult but the girl in the middle/distance seems to keep it all together by filling that gap you've mentioned. By the way - for me, the story really isn't nearly as well told without that girl...

    Tuna
     
  8. photo gal

    photo gal TPF Noob!

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    The story for me is in the little girl in the middle and then the rest of it helps tell her story. I do however think the girl's dress just to the left of her is a bit blown out and distracts my attention (maybe you could tone that down a bit). It bums me out a little that the dancer on the far right has her hand chopped off but I'm over it. But I think I would prefer that her whole hand were gone than just part of it. (just a thought) You have managed to get great detail on all the girls which is not easy. I love the over all scene and find it quite interesting to look at, lots of elements that work very well together imho. : )
     
  9. Johnboy2978

    Johnboy2978 No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    "By the way - for me, the story really isn't nearly as well told without that girl..."

    I agree the girl in middle off stage is what ties the whole things together. Without her, all you really have is several "mini pictures" within one larger picture. I think w/o question in my mind, she is the subject.

    So now that you've received some comments, I'd be interested to hear your own critique. But first, was this shot during the recital or was it a warm up or practice? From the angle, I could be convinced either way.
     
  10. spiralout

    spiralout TPF Noob!

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    Busy can be good, Tuna. There is so much packed into this photo; I love it! Every individual person in the picture adds their own unique mood to the mix. My eye keeps getting drawn to the girl in the middle of the shot (in the BG). She sits in contrast to everyone else as she's the only one that is paying attention to you. I love it. Great shot, Tuna.
     

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