Ordering Pizza in 2008

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Mitica100, Apr 28, 2004.

  1. Mitica100

    Mitica100 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    ORDERING PIZZA IN 2008

    Operator: "Thank you for calling Domino's Pizza. May I have your national ID number?"

    Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

    Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"

    Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

    Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@home.net Which number are you calling from, sir?"

    Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

    Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."

    Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"

    Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"

    Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."

    Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

    Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

    Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

    Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"

    Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

    Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

    Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

    Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

    Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."

    Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

    Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

    Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also."

    Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

    Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

    Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"

    Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday."

    Customer: "Well, I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"

    Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge... Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?"

    Customer: --(Speechless)--

    Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

    Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Bush Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Domino's Pizza!"
     
  2. Osmer_Toby

    Osmer_Toby TPF Noob!

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    ahhhhhhahahahahahahaha!!!

    i love it! love it! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

    sad thing is, it is probably accurate unless we vote the puppet off his throne...
     
  3. oriecat

    oriecat work in progress

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    In the spirit of this thread: :lmao:

    edit - I'm removing my image for now, since I'm hot linking and its not mine and I was starting to feel bad about it... I have it at home tho, so I will fix later...
     
  4. Osmer_Toby

    Osmer_Toby TPF Noob!

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    heheheh. again, excellent!
     
  5. Mitica100

    Mitica100 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    :eyebrows: :eyebrows:

    :smileys:
     
  6. Lula

    Lula Cracks-Up At Crazy Titles!

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    i'm not telling you
    :smileys: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :lmao:
     
  7. Darfion

    Darfion Soapbox guru...

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    You're laughing but it's not far from the truth :D
    Nice one Miti
     
  8. Mitica100

    Mitica100 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Sadly enough, I might add... :!:

    Anyway, how did you know that my nickname when I was a kid was Miti?? That's what my parents used to call me.

    :D
     

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