WHY on earth do they turn out so bad?

[walter23]

I would say that in the case of number two your camera definitely moved during the exposure. I'm not sure if that would be from mirror vibration, pushing the shutter button manually, a shaky tripod, or a loose zoom lens or even not-very-secure tripod head... but if you look at the lights every single one has a little trail pointing downwards, showing that something is definitely moving.