C&C my photo. be harsh!

[John Godwin]

The first shot is a little flat, and on the second shot, the couple are too vivid, and the van and surrounding areas are too flat. There's a decent looking cloud formation in the background, and a lot of visual information could be brought out with some brightness and contrast adjustments.

The van is way too flat compared to the edge transfer apparent in the couple.

There's also a huge blown highlight where the strobe has hit the metal of the dash.

Second shot is really great overall though, cool concept. I'd happily steal the idea if was doing a similar shoot

 

[kundalini]

Great idea, but falling short of a great photo. For me this is an excellent candidate for multiple shot image. Light the couple better and then pop off several shots with different parts of the scene hit with your flash. Interior, tire, grounds, etc. Light several sections independantly and merge in post.

I don't expect you to go to this much investment, but check out this guy's work. American Pride And Passion - The Photography of Eric Curry

 

[Ub3rdoRK]

Yeah I felt that way on the second shot too. I'm gonna try adjusting the clouds for sure.