I guess this is my first portrait attempt.... my buddy had a speech today so he was all dressed up for class. He wanted his picture taken and a 'real photographer' wouldn't be able to say no... so here it is. Let me know thoughts on lighting. Raymond by ZDiBeradin, on Flickr
You might consider changing the background to a middle grey. It would give the subject more pop. You can also throw a circular gradient in the middle of it to make it look like you used a background light with a snoot or something.
The cut and paste job was pretty poorly done. The mug shot isn't too bad. It's pretty well exposed and the focus looks perfect. Clean, clear and sharp.
The pose is typical mug shot and DEFINITELY needs a little posing work. The tie and arms lead right off the image.
I think your Fill light is too much for a good lighting ratio. It's obvious you have a (Key ? ) light camera right, but your Fill is not allowing any modeling from the Key. The chin shadows are creating an even shadow beard. The lighting ratio on his shoulders/chest is good, but portraits are about the face.
You have good separation from the background, but why are you lighting his back so low? The separation should be concentrated more on the head and shoulders. Notice the highlights in the open area at the lower left in frame. The "hole" between his right arm and torso has a halo. Raising your back light vertically or flagging your source would eliminate this.
I bet his hands are in his pockets. Next time try having him move one leg forward and place the forward foot in line with his rearward foot. Then have him place his weight on his rear heel. This will shift his hips, thus his torso, thus his shoulders. Thus creating a more dynamic pose rather than the football shoulders we see here.
Glad you mentioned it was copied and pasted, I was wondering where those blue aberrations were coming from around the shoulder and lower left waist! I'm a noob at portraits, but it looks like you've got some great advice