First Short Film - The Errand

[Ballistics]

Ok, so it's not very good, but this is my final for my intro to film making course.
The course left a lot to be desired, and I kind of feel like I walked away learning nothing from the class.
Luckily I have a background in photography, because I would have been completely lost doing this.

 

[Ballistics]

Any general comments?

Maybe suggestions on good DSLR filmmaking resources?

 

[runnah]

Shots are too long in some cases. Could use more establishing shots and then quicker transition shots. Establish the scene, then cut to the story.

hard to explain.

Audio levels are weird. Music should be more pervasive than the sound effects.

 

[Ballistics]

hard to explain.

Keep in mind that I just took some bootleg intro course, so none of that really resonates. I am very new with video. Maybe 8 hours total of experience.
Can you explain a little better? Maybe link me some of your work, to give me a visual example?

Audio levels are weird. Music should be more pervasive than the sound effects.

I agree, I submitted a different edit, and the instructor said that the natural sound wasn't loud enough.

 

[Light Guru]

it felt like it was dragging on forever. I challenge you to cut the length in half. Also it hard to hear what was being said at the end, the piece goes so long with to talking and then the few words go by real fast, I had to re watch hat part just to understand what was being said. Also the music just does not match the content. The music is to cheerful.

 

[runnah]

hard to explain.

Keep in mind that I just took some bootleg intro course, so none of that really resonates. I am very new with video. Maybe 8 hours total of experience.
Can you explain a little better? Maybe link me some of your work, to give me a visual example?

Audio levels are weird. Music should be more pervasive than the sound effects.

I agree, I submitted a different edit, and the instructor said that the natural sound wasn't loud enough.

OK let me try.

So you want to have a scene of a guy getting into a car.

1. Wide shot of car and place he is leaving from
cut.
2. Close up on guy's face if it is importand to show his expression
cut
3. CU of Door handle opening
Cut
4. Door close
cut
5. go back to shot one showing car leaving.

All that should be 10-15 seconds. In your video you have the camera on the door handle for way too long. It's wan't an important part of the narrative, rather a step along the journey.

 

[Ballistics]

it felt like it was dragging on forever. I challenge you to cut the length in half. Also it hard to hear what was being said at the end, the piece goes so long with to talking and then the few words go by real fast, I had to re watch hat part just to understand what was being said. Also the music just does not match the content. The music is to cheerful.

I gotta disagree, that song is not cheerful. Does no one recognize the song?
As for the dialogue... I'm using the in camera mic which is horrible.

I agree though it is dragged out. The film sucks in general. Working with young college kids is extremely difficult, between babysitting
and my nil knowledge of filmmaking, limited time and my imagination, this is what I came up with. Probably could be better around 3 minutes.

 

[Ballistics]

hard to explain.

Keep in mind that I just took some bootleg intro course, so none of that really resonates. I am very new with video. Maybe 8 hours total of experience.
Can you explain a little better? Maybe link me some of your work, to give me a visual example?

Audio levels are weird. Music should be more pervasive than the sound effects.

I agree, I submitted a different edit, and the instructor said that the natural sound wasn't loud enough.

OK let me try.

So you want to have a scene of a guy getting into a car.

1. Wide shot of car and place he is leaving from
cut.
2. Close up on guy's face if it is importand to show his expression
cut
3. CU of Door handle opening
Cut
4. Door close
cut
5. go back to shot one showing car leaving.

All that should be 10-15 seconds. In your video you have the camera on the door handle for way too long. It's wan't an important part of the narrative, rather a step along the journey.

Gotcha. Thanks.

 

[Light Guru]

I gotta disagree, that song is not cheerful.

No its not supper cheerful but its definitively does not portray a mysteries I'm up to something feel that you are trying to go for with the story. The parts where the music is NOT overpowered by your ambient noise the piano music sounded fairly cheerful and fluttery.

 

[Ballistics]

I gotta disagree, that song is not cheerful.

No its not supper cheerful but its definitively does not portray a mysteries I'm up to something feel that you are trying to go for with the story. The parts where the music is NOT overpowered by your ambient noise the piano music sounded fairly cheerful and fluttery.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.

 

[Light Guru]

I gotta disagree, that song is not cheerful.

No its not supper cheerful but its definitively does not portray a mysteries I'm up to something feel that you are trying to go for with the story. The parts where the music is NOT overpowered by your ambient noise the piano music sounded fairly cheerful and fluttery.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.

Keep in mind that you have had the opportunity to listen to the whole song, yet people who view your video really can only hear the song clearly or vary brief moments in between the loud ambient noise.

It does begin more dramatic but but there are definitively some parts of the song that are more cheerful and fluttery. And those parts just happen to play at parts where the ambient oise does not overpower the music.