Help! My soon to be wife is uncomfortable with me shooting Nude art

[BrettN]

So I have been shooting nude art photography for 8 years, my soon to be wife is uncomfortable with it. I am not a cheating ass and I shoot for fine art. Any ideas to get her to not be uncomfortable?

let me preface this,

So we have been together a year, we are getting married in 3 weeks, she was fully aware of my work, and I have invited her to shoots, tried to shoot her, so I am at a loss. I have shot male and female nudes. Its a big part of my fine art photography. I was shooting nudes while we were dating as well. At that time she told she likes that I see the beauty of the body and now she is uncomfortable with it. She does have self esteem and body issues. I don't shoot pro skinny models either, most of them are new models getting a portfolio together and are average.

 

[412 Burgh]

shoot her.....with the camera

 

[amolitor]

Making her your sole model is the traditional approach.

It seems a bit late in the game to be having this conversation, though.

 

[dbvirago]

Sounds like the sort of thing you might have discussed before getting married.

 

[sm4him]

Wait. Is it your NEW wife, as your post states, or your SOON-to-be wife, as your thread title states?

I only ask because it just seems to me like, if you've been shooting nudes for eight years, this is a topic that would have been best brought up *before* she decided to marry you. Unless you didn't mention to her that you did it.

Anyway....I don't know that I can help you with ideas to put her at ease with it, other than maybe have her attend a few of the sessions so she knows exactly what you do?

But ultimately, if my spouse were not okay with it, and I couldn't find a way to get them to where they WERE okay with it, I'd find something else to shoot. On the other hand, I'm divorced, so what do I know?

EDIT: Took me too long to type my post, so others have already echoed this sentiment.

 

[Mike_E]

Talk With her, A LOT!

Later is not the time to work these things out.



And just a friendly piece of advice you really want to find out if there is anything else that the two of you disagree on while you're at it.

If you (and I do mean IF) think that you can just bull your way through this or anything else like this ... well rethink.

 

[JeremyD]

Only shoot male models?

 

[2WheelPhoto]

There may be more going on if she's concerned about such trivial stuff.

 

[Big Mike]

As her to come to the shoots with you, to help out. It may even help to relax the models, to have another female there. She should then realize that she has nothing to worry about.

Do doctor's wives get upset because their husbands will see some of their female patients in the nude? Probably not.

 

[BrettN]

Please see my edited first post

 

[amolitor]

Well, the one thing you shouldn't do is continue to shoot nudes on the sly.

Sounds like you got a problem here. Is she pulling a bait and switch? Wouldn't be the first time. If this is truly the only substantial issue, no big deal. You can work it out after the wedding, and maybe you just don't shoot nudes any more. It doesn't sound like it's your life's work or anything. If it's NOT the only major issue, though, best you hit some couple's counseling before the wedding.

 

[Mully]

This could be a real issue going forward...... I have a very good friend whose wife never approved of him doing nude photographs and became the wedge between them. If your love of art is at a point that you would not be able to walk away from it you owe it to yourself and to her to get this ironed out before you get married.... maybe postpone your marriage for a bit longer to get this worked out....best of luck as there are no real answers just suggestions.

 

[CCericola]

Marriage is a wonderful thing...Don't do it.

 

[o hey tyler]

She knew you did this as a profession and fine art for the last year. I don't see why she couldn't deal with it when you're married. Seems silly to me if she had a year to think about this.

 

[JacaRanda]

Marriage with someone you don't have to compromise/give up with on something you have done for 8 years is a wonderful thing...Don't do it. There is a real blessing in this for you (((you are not already married)))