Teresa... I really don't want to get into a big huge debate here because we've already covered this in several other posts of yours. So my humble opinion is that you are getting frustrated at things that you are shooting because of the technically aggressive nature of the style you are trying.
Studio work can be difficult even with the right equipment, much less trying to piece a studio together. There are some basic things that you [we all as photographers] need to get a grip on before we ever try to pull off the shots you want to pull off. You see your images and hate them because you're not ready to do those kinds of shots. I am not going to play into the "poor pitiful you" posts again and I don't want to discourage you from photography, I just think you need to start at the beginning. I (and dozens of others) have said that before to you.
When you don't have to worry about backdrops and lighting (as in your engagement post awhile back) you do good work. But you need to get a grip on these basics first! That's why your frustrated. You can not take a first aid class in the local community college and then immediately go perform open heart surgery! It doesn't happen that way. There are natural progressions for all aspects of work. First job as a cashier; got to learn how to use the register to make a sale... then cash or credit... then do a refund... then take a coupon... then, the list goes on. All of this is taking for granted that you know how to count, read and make change! After that... maybe you become proficient at that and they make you train other cashiers. Then you become a supervisor, then assistant manager. You have to start somewhere and get a grasp on it.
Please try to search your heart and ask yourself if this photography "profession" is for you. If it is... work hard on it from the beginning and take your time. Soon enough IF your cut out for it, the simple things will become second nature to you. These are the things you struggle with and beat yourself up over right now.
Here's the cold, hard truth: You might not become a photographer. I could never play guitar like Dave Matthews but did I give it up? No. Do I know more than 5 chords? No. Do I love it? Yes. Guitar is not my thing. Taking photos of your kids and family for a scrapbook might be your thing. Shooting the cover of a national mag... maybe not. But please, please, please... take our constant and seldom changing advice to you; learn the basics of photography. Stop trying (for now) to over complicate your shots with elaborate studio techniques. Grab your camera and chase your kids around the neighborhood park and work on natural lighting and composition and DOF and exposer and shadows and highlights and the hundreds of other things that DO NOT use a flash, then study, study, study!
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